The Way(Choices? Remixed and Reposted)

The day after I posted my last blog was Groundhog Day, those of us in the South were left with a choice. You see, the Yankee groundhog Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, signaling six more weeks of winter. While here in the South, General Beauregard Lee didn't see his shadow, which meant winter was over. Given the choice, which would you choose, a longer winter or an early spring? This was the decision faced by many in the South. Most of us tend to choose what we want, what will make us happy. After all it's all about us, right? Wrong! Victorian writer, George Eliot once wrote, "The strongest principle of growth lies in the human choice." Fifteen years ago this month I made the the biggest/best decision of my life.

On March 31, 1997 God gave me another chance and I had a choice to make, I AIN'T GOING BACKWARDS; I could STAY on the wrong path or get serious about my relationship with Jesus and live it to the fullest. I can remember that day like was yesterday, albeit the accident itself. It meant that I would have to give up going to the dance clubs. Hey, I'm a dancer at heart, although a broken one. Brad and Sanjay, I remember the following days with you two and my parents at MCG. However, I never imagined what my covenant with God would cost me. But that's true for all of us, isn't it? We get to the end of the rope and we want to go to heaven, we want the "blessings" of God in this life. I mean who really chooses to go to hell, anyway? Before you answer, read on.

You see, this is where Rob Bell has veered from Scripture in his book Love Wins. God doesn't send us to hell, we do. I recently saw an interview Whitney Houston gave years ago about her own bad choices. Here's a shocker, because of our choices, even some in the church will go to hell. In one of Jesus' lesser known parables, He talks about the difference between His lady and an impostor(Matthew 25:1-13.) If you really study it, Jesus is pretty firm. The five foolish virgins represent Christians that are part of the wedding party, but make bad choices and aren't prepared for the bridegroom's return.

They have become lazy and perhaps prideful while waiting for Him, King James says they have began to slumber. And when He comes after midnight, they aren't there. In a sense they have wandered away. Even after all of their crying, "the door is shut." And the bridegroom says goodbye. I'M SORRY, the bridegroom and the five wise virgins continue to CELEBRATE, CAUGHT UP IN LOVE. Whose fault is it? Who chose to RUN THAT WAY? You see they have bought into the propaganda of the world. They thought that grace was a sure thing and they could live how they wanted. But grace must be chosen and practiced. The Bible is clear EVEN ANGELS FALL away because of pride (Isaiah 14:12-14,Ezekiel 28:12-18.)

All throughout the New Testament there is a sense of being firm in our decisions, especially in Jesus' teachings(Matthew 5:36-37, 6:13, 13:19.) According to the apostle Paul it is a sign of spiritual maturity if we stay the course and don't get tossed about by the waves like SHIPS IN THE NIGHT(Ephesians 4:14.) Later Jesus' half-brother James echoed Paul(James 1: 6.)Zig Ziglar once stated, "Every choice you make has an end result."Again, this is why when I say I do, I do. Regardless of what it is, when I commit, I'm all in. I don't believe in this 50/50 stuff. My father raised me to know that a halfheartedly done job is a job that is never finished.

How can you give someone half of your heart/time and expect anything more from them? There's no such thing as halfway loving someone, you're either a lover or a HATER. Ralph Waldo Emerson wisely stated, "Every mind must make its choice between truth and repose. It cannot have both." Ladies and gentlemen, sisters and brothers, believer and OH SINNER MAN we need to make our minds up and stop straddling the fence; you can not have your cake and eat it too. Civil rights pioneer Rosa Parks wisely stated, "I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminshes fear. That is what this blog will be about, the choices we must make and living with the consequences.

The Way(THE CHOICE REMIXED AND REPOSTED?)

I am going to begin this blog where we left off where we left off in my previous blog, with the second Adam, Jesus. Matthew( Matthew 26:34) Just like the first Adam had a choice to make in EDEN, Jesus had a choice to make, a tough one. It was one that He didn't want to do, Jesus knew that it meant He would have to suffer to the point of giving His life. The difference is this Adam knew that real love meant sacrificing and it is an UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. That's what this blog is about, free will; discernment, the choices we make, the consequences of them and who will judge them.

FREE WILL?

Let's listen to what Jesus had to say in the gospels of Matthew(Matthew 26:42) and John(John 15:16) Since we are in the book of John, listen to Jesus in an earlier story(John 6:60-66) While He said back in Matthew(Matthew 7:13-14.) Which road are you on? Is America on? Is the church taking? So like the disciples, we have a choice to come to Jesus when He calls, it is not forced on us. We are are not a bunch of puppets being controlled by God, We have been given a free will to decide for ourselves.

God does let us know that there will be consequences of our choices if we choose not to listen to God, the Bible calls this sin, which separates us from God. But if we choose to follow Jesus, it does not mean that it will be easy. Hence, Jesus calling it the narrow way. Which is why far too often, the world and many Christians, maybe even you run away. Just like I mentioned in my last blog, in the days of the Roman Empire, many pledged allegiance to CAESAR. And listen to the apostle John in the book of Revelation(Revelation 13:17-18) about the end times prophecies and those who choose not to follow Jesus, but follow the beast. Do you remember that number, which way are you going? One way leads to life, the other you are BREATHIN' TO DEATH, choose wisely. Fortunately, Jesus' half-brother James tells us there is hope(James 1:5.) We will talk more about what James has to say later in this blog.

DISCERNMENT?

In his book, listening to God(THE ART of discerning God's will) Gordon T. Smith writes, "God's will and love for us are not utilitarian. He does not love us for what He can get out of us. He loves us for ourselves. He loves us as we are, for He created us. He calls us friends. The model of friendship with God assumes the phenomena of two wills and two freedoms, God's and mine, in continual interconnection. But my response to God, and particularly to the will of God, must be a response to submission. We are friends of God, but we are not equal with God. The will of God must of necessity have priority. God is God. Our Christian experience is lived in submission and response to the love and will of God. It is comparable to the actions of the lead partner in ice skating. One partner leads, the other follows. The one who follows is not passive or limp, but eagerly engaged in response. There is a give and take, point and counterpoint. The one who follows exercises a personal will in the dance. Discernment, indeed the whole Christian experience, it is like a DANCE with God." Because He is the LOVER OF MY SOUL.

Smith says, "before we examine further what it will take to listen to God, though, we must affirm something fundamental to this whole process: discernment arises out of a personal encounter with Christ, specifically the encounter of prayer. We can be discerners only if we are pray-ers. We discern the voice of God within the context of a relationship. If that relationship suffers. So will our ability to discern what is best. The same expectation applies to any relationship, actually. If an individual wants another person to inform her choices and shape her decisions, and if she is eager to have that person share wisdom and insights with her, then she must attend to that relationship.

Since God calls us both His children and friends, He only desires the best for us. Smith points to the apostle Paul's letter to the church in Philippi(Philippians 1:1-11.) Hence Smith says, " discernment is a discriminating choice between two or more good options( or as Pastor Allen would say, "good or gooder") and never a choice between good and evil. We are not considering whether to abide by the moral will and commandments of God. When good and evil are set before us, we do not need to discern. We are called to avoid evil and do good. We are only to obey. Discernment is the task of Christian believers who are resolved to do good and only good. Good or evil is not the question; rather, the challenge is to know what is best. When we speak of what is best, the assumption is that when we seek the best, we are seeking that which will glorify God. But more, it means that we are seeking what is best for us as individuals or as a community. Discernment relates to the whole of our Christian experience, not just in isolated segment-- a time of decision. Our life in it's entirety must be lived in response to the word of God. Discernment is the word within the word of God, a specific word to us as individuals, but as individuals who seek to know and live by the word. We cannot judge one another, or assume that God will lead others in the same way He has led us. The other side of this is that we need to be freed from the oppressive judgments or expectations of others that limit our ability to hear and respond to God's voice for us." We'll talk more about judging later.

Smith continues, "in some cases these pressures will mean that hearing and responding to His voice will be a matter of courage. The reality is that we live in social groups, even Christian communities, where others want to control or influence us. Sometimes the desires of parents keep their children-- their adult children-- from freely hearing the voice of God. Sometimes the desires of pastors hinder members of their own congregation from recognizing the prompting of the Spirit. We need to learn how to listen, how to recognize the inner witness of the Spirit. Our task is to grow in our recognition of the prompting of the Spirit . We do so when we recognize that there are four distinct messages that we receive from the Spirit-- four different ways the Spirit prompts the PEOPLE OF GOD; it assures us of the love of God, convicts us of sin, leads us into TRUTH, it guides us at the decision times of our lives. It is of utmost importance to stress that we cannot learn to recognize the prompting of the Spirit in the fourth area, if we do not learn to first respond to the prompting of the Spirit in the first three areas. We cannot isolate a particular decision from the rest of our lives in order to seek God's guidance. Or as Ernest E. Larkin puts it, 'we discern as well as we live, we live as well as we discern." It's like a mother bird and her baby birds that I have been watching under my porch roof these last few months. If the mother bird didn't let the baby birds hit the ground a few times, they would never have learned to fly. After all as Rob Bell would say, "everything is spiritual." For me, Martin Luther said it best when he said, "my conscience is submissive to the word of God."

For those of you who know me. You've heard me say, "my Spidey sense is going crazy." For me that's how I describe the leading of the Holy Spirit within me. Yes brother Steve, the prophet Isaiah was right(Isaiah 30:19-22.) No matter what people say or how bad things look, I try to listen to my Spidey sense. In the past when I haven't listened, I regretted it. Especially when it comes to relationships. And then I just want to go oops upside the head.

It also leads me in my writing. Most of you know that taken almost a year off from lifting weights for my health and to concentrate on my classes and writing. I have also spent more time drawing closer to God through Bible study and just listening(especially when I'm outside.) Since then any time something isn't right or I feel that a friend is lying to me, my Spidey sense has been getting louder and louder. Even here with some of you reading this. Ironically, the betrayal of some of you has only drawn me closer to God and helped me know who I really can trust completely.

Smith continues to say, "the role of Scripture is foundational. The Spirit whom we seek to hear is the same Spirit who inspired the Holy Scripture. The Holy Spirit then does not invent things. He only communicates the word of God and the will of Christ. Quite simply if we do not know the word, we cannot know the mind of God. The communication of the Spirit to our hearts and minds is the specific application of the word to our lives. This means we cannot do as Paul said in his letter to the church in Ephesus, "be full of the Spirit(Ephesians 5:18,)" unless we are indwelt richly by the word of Christ. There is no new revelation by the Spirit in the Scriptural or apostolic sense. But the illumination of the Spirit is not merely the enabling that helps us understand the word. It is more than illumination or understanding. The Spirit also prompts, guides and directs the Christian believer. But we can confidently attend to the prompting of the Spirit only if we are men and women of THE WORD. We can recognize the voice of the Spirit amid myriad competing noises only if our minds have been tuned by immersion in Holy Scripture."

A while back I saw a Seed From the Sower segment where Michael Guido told story about a surgery gone wrong. Guido says, " a group of surgeons prepared for an emergency surgery when just before they made the first incision, the patient died. After the investigation into the incident, it was discovered that someone connected the wrong tank to the oxygen line. When the nurses were questioned, they all replied, 'we were sincerely trying to do our job to our best.' Guido says, "they were sincerely wrong, when making important life decisions, be Scripturely certain! For the Bible says, 'THERE IS A WAY that seems right to man. But in the end leads to death.'"

Smith continues, "Luther had a continuing battle with Thomas Müntzer, whose group lived by daily witness from God. Luther's objection was that the group refused to submit to two critical standards of examination: "brotherly conversation"and the Bible. Luther faulted Muntzer for the lack of commitment to spiritual community. True wisdom, Luther insisted, is not divisive, but peace-loving. This objective witness must be bound by the objective-- The Spirit's witness to Scripture and Christian community. To discern this, distinguished the voice of God from the noise of this world and the false witness of the evil one. For the Old Testament believer, discernment, primarily involved discriminating a true prophet from a false prophet, true prophets were rare." We've already discussed how God spoke and communicated his word to the prophets.

Smith explains that "New Testament believers also need to be discriminating, learning to discern false teachers from true instructors. The critical act of discernment for us is recognizing the witness of the Spirit." Both the apostle Paul in his first letter to the church in Thessalonia(1 Thessalonians 5:20-21) and the apostle John(1 John 4:1) tell us we are enjoined to test the spirits. This includes distinguishing authentic preaching from false, discovering the prompting guidance the Spirit in organizational decision-making, and recognizing the inner witness or prompting of the Spirit.

John Wesley spoke of the inner witness of the Spirit as part of his overall affirmation of the priority of the heart. His basic assumption was that the true Christianity is rooted in a heartfelt encounter in response to God. However, Wesley admitted that there is a real danger in knowledge and direct revelation from the Spirit. A possibility of fanaticism, and that people would presume to know the voice of God. But he also believed Scripture and his Christian heritage taught that an individual Christian can know the witness of the Spirit. He built his whole doctrine on this matter around the expression of St. Paul. In both of his letters to the churches in Rome and Galatia, Paul wrote 'the Spirit bears witness with our spirit(Romans 8:16,Galatians 4:7-8) ' this concept assumes the union of spirits , wherein there is harmony and understanding. The validation and primary expression of this union is joy. Joy and a desire to do good and turn from evil summarize this verification of the inward reality. Joy with a desire to turn from evil to holiness is the essential stance as we discern the feelings and voices of our own conscience and make sense of the fellowship we have with the Spirit." We will talk more about this turning from evil later in this blog.

Smith says, "the central feeling or emotional state is joy. Which for Wesley is a consciousness that the believer is a child of God, security with God, acceptance by God. For God desires to direct and guide us. But He can only do so, if we are discerning men and women, growing in our ability to recognize and respond to the prompting the Spirit. We will fail, certainly; we will sometimes confuse the voice of God with temptations from the Evil One or the longings that arise from nothing more than our own pride or selflessness. We will make MISTAKES. But if we are resolved to know and do the will of God and are determined to seek and do the best, we will surely grow increasingly in tune to the Spirit of God. It may take time; spiritual maturity does not come overnight, and neither do wisdom and discernment." The good news for us is found in the apostle Paul's letter to Rome where he states, "the Spirit witnesses with our spirit that we are children of God." Because of this, you can know that YOU ARE LOVED. Before our salvation we live a life MUCH AFRAID of death and trials, because He never gave up on us and because of the sacrifice Jesus gave, we can be fearless and know that we have NO WORRIES.

Smith continues, "if we are not assured of the love of God, we cannot make choices confident of the guidance and direction of God. We must, know we are loved, FORGIVEN and accepted. There is nothing more foundational to the Christian life and nothing more basic to spiritual discernment. Discernment enables us to see the new possibilities to you in the most difficult situations. We will never be free to discern what is best for us if we are not prepared to accept both the LIMITATIONS and opportunities that are part of our situation. This will mean accepting our own foolishness and mistakes.

The past is gone, and given our sin and error, we confess our wrong, turn from it and begin again. The mistakes of the past have consequences for today, but the grace of God allows us to face today in a new way and discern what is best now, despite mistakes of the past. Sometimes the pain of the past is not the result of sin or wrong. Some suffering just happens. Joni Eareckson Tada is well known that have endured terrible sufferings a result of a recreational accident. No one was at fault. What makes Joni remarkable is the way she accepts her limitations and is able to see possibilities for today within the context of the past. Discernment requires acceptance of the past and limitations of the present." We can stop saying, 'what if' and agree that there will be no regrets." It has been said by many authors from Chuck Swindoll to Rob Bell, that "we have a choice, we can let trials make us bitter or better."

This is a lesson my father taught me years ago not long after my own near-death experience. One night after I came home from work, I was met by the sheriff who informed me that my mother was divorcing my father. My mother gave me the option of staying with her or going with my father. I ended up leaving with my father as he stayed with my sister and her family. I remember watching him as he coped with my mother's rejection. He could have let the HURT and pain help him or walk away. But he worked it out with my mother and kept his wedding vows until he died from lung cancer just four months before her. It wasn't easy for him to honor his wedding vows and forgive my mother and a part of him didn't want to. But like a friend of his told me, "he knew it was his obligation to stay with my mother." Smith says, "discernment seeks the best in light of previous irreversible decisions and commitments. We seek to know what is best in such a way that we honor the vows we have made-- for example, the vows of celibacy or the vow of marriage." Currently the divorce rate in the church is equal to that of nonbelievers, which way is the church going?

In another Seed From the Sower segment where Michael Guido explained, "the the second best choice he made in his life was the choice to marry his wife. Suppose after the wedding, my wife told me, 'now that we are married. I am going home to my parent's house and if I need you, I will call.' What kind of marriage would that be? Pretty sad. Unfortunately, that is how many Christians view salvation. There is no change. We want to go on living like we used to, but have the benefits of being saved. But salvation is like a marriage. It takes work. A daily commitment to study God's Word and to die to our own wants."

According to Joshua Harris in his book Dug Down Deep, "our salvation is instant, citing the apostle Paul's letter to the church in Ephesus(Ephesians 2:8.) But the way we live proves the reality of our salvation. If a person has truly been saved, truly been justified by grace, it shows in their new lifestyle. Every genuine Christian is being sanctified. Which is God's saving work through Jesus' life and death and resurrection has practical implications for lives. It is truth that cannot be kept on the page or in a house of worship. It follows us home. To our school, to work, to our bedrooms and grabs hold of every detail of our lives. Our thoughts, our sexuality, our leisure, our relationships, our desires, and even our dreams. A big question a lot of us have is why is this process of changing so stinking hard and painful? Why do Christians struggle with sin? When you become a Christian and are reveling in the fact that you've been reborn, transformed, justified and FORGIVEN. Then one day you wake up and realize you're still tempted to____(fill in the blank.) The list of potential 'old you' behaviors seems endless."

This is a battle and a choice that musician Brian Welch faced five years ago when he accepted Jesus and left the group Korn. I have already explained an earlier blog my own personal battle with sex and temptation, still the fight inside rages on. Even as I write this blog, I feel like I am at the END OF MY ROPE. But the apostle Paul tells us in his letter to the church in Rome(Romans 12:2,) that I'm changed. Christians are the original transformers.

The problem is too many people choose not to fight, especially gay people. I recently learned that one of my favorite Christian artist has come out, saying that her "lifestyle choice" isn't why she was out of the music scene for seven years. And They say, "I can't help it if God made me this way. "This is just the WAY I AM." Let me make it clear that I'm not picking on homosexuals, because we heterosexuals don't get it right always either. Sin is sin. Recently, the HEADLINES of our newspapers are filled with stories about this star or that athlete is addicted to sex. Worse yet, science has proved there is a cheater gene. I learned a name for people like this while I was in Colorado, pansies. Newsflash, the Bible is clear that every since the first Adam fell in the garden, humans have been born with an INDWELLING SIN nature. Listen to what Paul says in a letter to the church in Rome(Romans 5:12.) While John( 1 John 3:4) says. WE ARE ALL THE SAME, we each have to battle the flesh.

It was my best friend in college, Sanjay, who first confirmed this change in me 12 years ago after I opted not to have sex with a female friend after my accident, not that my flesh didn't want to. Sanjay remarked that I really had changed. To which I told him the old Martin was DEAD AND GONE. I had a choice, I could sing the LION'S ANTHEM or the LIAR'S ANTHEM. Do you remember those two wolves in the story of the Indian chief and little boy I shared at the beginning of the series, which one are you feeding?

I remember hearing speaker Greg Steir's story from Promise Keepers a few years back about an incident with his three-year-old son, "one night I saw my son standing at the end of the hall in our hotel reaching for the fire alarm. Before I could yell 'no,' he pulled the alarm. We don't have to teach our children to do bad. instead, we must train them to do good." Author Joshua Harris wrote in his book. Not Even A Hint, "I never knew until I got married that men were not the only ones who struggle with lust. My wife had just as much trouble controlling her thoughts and body as I did. Lust is a human problem." It is my job as a man to protect my family. So like Job, I must have COVENANT EYES.


So like Joshua wrote to the people of Israel we have a choice( Joshua 24:15.) For me as a single Christian man, one of the most disappointing experiences in my Christian walk has been meeting "Christian" women that want to STRADDLE THE FENCE in their walk. They have bought into the lie that they can have it ANY WAY YOU WANT IT. They act like Katy Perry, hot n cold. Listen to the apostle John's warnin(Revelation 3:16,) While Matthew says(Matthew 6:23-24) Christians cannot live in two worlds. I will talk more about light in my next blog. I am sure that there are many of you reading this that are thinking, "who are you to judge anyone, you can't judge me, This is my LIFE."

JUDGE?

This is an issue that has confused many people. And somewhere down the road we have gotten this all TWISTED. On one hand, listen to what Jesus says( Matthew 7:1.) On the other hand, I have already you mentioned earlier in this blog that the Bible also exhorts us to beware of evildoers and false prophets and to avoid those who practice all kinds of evil. How are we to discern who these people are if we do not make some kind of judgment about them? The answer is, there's a difference. Remember Jesus' warning(Matthew 7:15-20?) Back to the subject the subject of women, let's talk about Lot's wife(Genesis 19:20-26.) Lot’s wife was walking behind him and by her own free will, turned around and looked back at the destruction that was taking place. She outright disobeyed God’s instructions. She died.

We all have an old man and temptations that make us want to bring back the past without realizing that this is not God’s Will for us. Especially when we try to return to something that is in the past ended in a disaster. Sound familiar? Once we decide to follow Jesus, there's no looking back! This is why, according to Larry Stockstill. In his book The Remnant, we need accountability. Stockstill says "leaders may have pretended to be submitted and accountable, unless accountability is legally a part of the church's by-laws, it is easy to circumvent." Stockstill calls this, the lost art of rebuking.(Correcting.)" Whenever a believer tries to correct his brother, it is usually met with "why are you judging me?" But what happened when Nathan confronted David about his affair with Bathsheba, Did he go whining like some little pansy?

During my recent visit my mentor's house, I informed him about a decision I had to make that he strongly disagreed with and later openly rebuked me. The next morning, he apologized. I asked him why? That's why God put him in my life to help me. Although his rebuked stung momentarily, like salt in an open wound. I know that this is where the healing begins. We will talk more about salt in my next blog. Just this week, I had another brother give me a dose of salt. Danny, you know I love you and I will BEAR WITH YOU. For listen to the apostle Paul tell in his letter to the church in Rome(Romans 15:2.)To the church in Galatia, he wrote something similar(Galatians 6:2.)

It's like going to the gym and working out for me. If I'm not using good form, or working out correctly I would want somebody that knows what they are doing to tell me. If not, I am just wasting my time and might get hurt. However remember what Jesus' half brother James said(James 4: 17?) Too many people would rather be lied to and not get their feelings hurt. But that is not the way I was raised. My father taught me, if you lie to me, " it tells me you don't respect me, and you think I'm an idiot. Because the truth always comes out."

Some may think the ends justifies the means, but that is not the case. This is why awhile back I saw a news report about the Pope, knowing about the sex abuse of some of the priests under him before he became Pope. When asked why he didn't correct them. He said," I didn't feel it was my place to judge them." Think about all of the scandals and hurt that could have been avoided if the church hadn't forgotten the art of rebuking. Which way is the church going? And more recently a general was removed from his command for openly speaking out against the President, which way is America going? How do you react when others correct you?

Christians are often accused of "judging" whenever they speak out against a sinful activity. However, that is not the meaning of the Scripture verses that states,"Do not judge." There is a righteous kind of judgment we are supposed to exercise—with careful discernment. When Jesus told his disciples not to judge, He was telling us not to judge hypocritically. Matthew continues(Matthews 7:1-6.) Here I am a HYPOCRITE. what Jesus was condemning here was hypocritical, self-righteous judgments of others.

The old adage proves true here, "don't throw rocks when you live in a glass house yourself!" Be sure that you WALK WORTHY, Jesus warns against judging someone else for his sin, when you yourself are sinning even worse. That is the kind of judging Jesus commanded us not to do. Listen to Matthew as Jesus continues(Matthew 18:15-34.)

This is not judging, but rather pointing out the truth in hope—and with the ultimate goal—of bringing repentance in the other person. Isn't that what James tells us(James 5:15-20?) This is HOW TO SAVE A LIFE. THAT'S WHAT LOVE IS. listen as the apostle Paul wrote to the c in Ephesus(Ephesians 4:15.) How about his second letter to Timothy(2 Timothy 4:2.) And listen to his strong warning to the church in Galatia(Galatians The apostle Paul warned the church in Galatia(Galatians 6:7-9.)We are to "judge" sin, but always with the goal of presenting the solution for sin and its consequences— the Lord Jesus Christ. Who according to the apostle John in his book of Revelations, "because the hour of His judgment has come." It will be a final judgment where as John continues, "before me was the lamb, standing on Mount Zion, and with him 144,000 who had his name and his father's name written on their forehead." The mark on their foreheads will be the one of their choice and in the end it determines the way.

LOVE HURTS?

The apostle John's revelation reminds us that standing up for Jesus or our faith may mean that we will suffer. Just look at Tim Teebo. After I posted my last blog, I continued my study of biblical love and what I learned continued to amaze me. Let's start off with the Greek words used for patience, makrothumia and hupomone.The first, pronounced (mak-roth-oo-mee-ah) comes from makros, "long," and thumos, "temper." The word denotes lenience, forbearance, fortitude, patient endurance, long suffering. Also included in makrothumia is the ability to endure persecution and ill-treatment. It describes a person who has the power to exercise revenge but instead exercises restraint.

If you study the "love" chapter" in the Bible using a king James or a American Standard version, the word patience is not found. Instead you find "long-suffering." That's right, true love suffereth much. I recently learned through my writing class that the King James version of the Bible is the "only version that is public domain, the other versions are owned by either publishing houses or families." Throughout Scripture we are told of God's long-suffering(Exodus 34:6, Numbers 14:18, Psalm 86:15, Romans 2:4, 2 Peter 3:9, 3:15.) Remember "FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD that He gave His only begotten Son(John 3:16.)" That's got to hurt. Lord, YOU MUST LOVE ME. Suffering is what the rescue of humanity is all about.

Jesus suffered the cruelest death on the cross(Philippians 2:6-8) so we wouldn't suffer an eternal death after He walked The Via Dollerosa(the way of suffering) and then He cried, "it is finished." Jesus gave His all(not some) and then said it is finished, He did it just for you. If JESUS DID IT, then so must we. Jesus is the only antidote for our suffering. Philip Yancey reminds us, "this suffering is all part of the work God has given you. Christ, who suffered for you is your example. Follow in His steps(1 Peter 2:21.)"

Author Gregory A. Boyd reminds us in his book Present Perfect, "Jesus' death on the cross is proof that we could not have more significance to God. Despite our sin, our Creator thinks we are worth experiencing a hellish death for. In fact, it was for the joy of spending eternity with us that Jesus endured the cross(Hebrews 12:2.)"

This is what bothers me about a lot of Christians, they talk the"church" talk with the"blessed" this or that and I have deep "joy," then post Scripture on their Facebook pages, while the gospel says write Scripture on your heart. Which tempts me to slap the church talk out of their mouth with the right hand of Christian fellowship. Then let's see how much joy they have and how blessed they feel. They remind me of the guys in high school that bragged about their "great"sex life or how big certain body parts were. When in reality they had no sex life and their body wasn't all that. They were simply just fake.

You see their egos and pride has puffed them up. Remember those ten virgins I mentioned earlier? Our pride and egos are the yeast of the Pharisees that Jesus warned about(Mark 8: 15, Matthew 16:6.) Bread made with yeast looks good on the outside and rises fast, but has no integrity or substance. Yeast multiplies and grows by using available sugars and water, giving off carbon dioxide and ethyl alcohol (fermentation). As long as air is available, the yeast multiplies. While salt on the other hand, helps moderate the effect of the yeast so the bread doesn't rise too quickly. Which leaves us with another choice, doesn't it? Are you going to be the yeast or the salt?

Moreover, James tells us it's the testing of our faith that helps us to grow(James 1:3.) True joy is being content/happy despite our circumstances. It's interesting to note that the Bible doesn't say we must simply suffer, it uses long-suffering, this implies repeatedly forgiving the same wrongs. The people we love will hurt us. Sometimes the same way over and over, they are human after all. The latter translation for patience, hupomone, (hoop-om-on-ay) is translated "endurance": Constancy, perseverance, continuance, bearing up, steadfastness, holding, patient endurance. The word combines hupo, "under," and mone, "to remain." It describes the capacity to continue to bear up under difficult circumstances, not with a passive complacency, but with a hopeful fortitude that actively resists weariness and defeat. Sound familiar?

At this point, many of you are saying, "I don't have to suffer. Jesus died so that I wouldn't have to suffer. Wrong, all throughout the New Testament believers are encouraged to endure suffering(Acts 14:22, 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, 2 Timothy 2:3,1 Peter 4:12-19, Hebrews 10:32 – 34, Romans 12:12, Philippians 1:30-2:1.) Matthew tells us that after Jesus shared the "Beatitudes" with the crowds, He encouraged them to rejoice and be glad in suffering(Matthew 5:12.) Later His half-brother James said something similar(James 1:2-4,12.)

Ironically, the greatest persecutor of the church, the apostle Paul, consistently encouraged the church to rejoice in suffering(Romans 5:2-3,2 Corinthians 12:10, 2 Thessalonians 1:4.) More specifically to the church at Philippi, Paul shared a paradigm shift; Paul had a change of heart, what he used to consider worthy, he counted as worthless(Philippians 3:7.) I can relate and will explain in a minute.

Don't forget that Paul told the church in Rome that EVERYTHING WORKS TOGETHER for the good of those who love the Lord (Romans 8:28 .) So, NO PAIN, NO LOVE. The suffering Jesus endured saves us from is in THE AFTERLIFE. I will discuss this more in depth in my first book "Crucified."

I see why most would rather interpret this"patient love" as meaning simply to WAIT, waiting is easy(I can't believe I just wrote that!) Someone once said, "There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it easy." I mean who would choose to suffer? Christ did. Moreover, Jesus is constantly telling us, "I CHOOSE YOU(John 6:70, 13:18,15:16.)" And this is where it comes full circle for me. If I am truly seeking to love like Jesus, I will choose to suffer for someone I love, right? What a beautiful eulogy. The world tells you that love is easy. There's even a song by a popular Christian artist that says, "love is not a fight."

But the gospel says real love is hard(Luke 6:27-36.) Later Peter tells us love covers a multitude of sins(1 Peter 4:8.) So, if I am to love someone, I must GO HARD. Some people are just harder to love than others. Remember the analogy of Christ and the church to a husband-and-wife? This tells me two things, it is my choice as a Christian man to choose who I date or marry and that I must suffer for her. I can remember when I was in middle school, I learned if I wanted to dance with somebody, I had to choose who and ask her. A pastor friend of mine whose wife is pregnant recently went to the store at 12:09 a.m. to buy her some Doritos and a Butterfinger. This is what the apostle Paul urged husbands to do(Ephesians 5:25-28.) This is where the fight begins for me and most of us. No one wants to be hurt.

GOODNESS GRACIOUS, that is why most marriages and relationships end isn't it? We get tired of hurting and don't feel loved. So we plan our NEXT MOVE and start looking for that NEW FOUND LOVE. What about the vow we took? What happened to that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?

Ladies, will that guy you are dating/engaged to suffer for you? if not he can't love you like Christ does(John 10:11-15.) Have you made it too easy for him to love you or run away? before you say "I do" make sure he will. Will you suffer for him? I even know a few Christian women whose husbands aren't strong Christians and the women opt to divorce them, how hypocritical. They justify this by saying, "God wants me to be happy and not be miserable." Here's the deal, the day they got married, they sealed the deal on their choice. This is why I am not married, yet. I know for me it will be final, the door will be shut. Let me go ahead and elaborate something, ladies if you are in a relationship/marriage where you are being hurt physically, get help. But, if you want out simply because you got your feelings hurt or you can't get what you want, stop being a DRAMA QUEEN. Which way are you going(loving?)

Since I'm talking about drama and being hurt, remember my friend that I hurt a while back? Actually we both hurt each other. To be completely honest, I have never been so hurt, humiliated and disrespected before by anyone, myself. Yet, I've never loved anyone as much before. I can't speak about the extent of her pain. I have only experienced my BUSTED HEART, which reminds me that God is close to the brokenhearted(Psalms 34:18.) Further, after six years of knowing her, she's still a mystery to me. I'm sure some of you guys reading this are thinking, "I've been married to my wife 16 or 60 years and she's a mystery to me, too."

By now many of you are probably zoning out. I'm sure this burns like salt in an open wound. We'll discuss salt more in another blog. Author Gary Thomas explained it like this in his classic book Sacred Marriage, "[Your wife] seems so different from you, I know. When you think on one level, she thinks on another. When you're certain this perspective matters most, she brings in another angle entirely. And you ask, 'How can I possibly love someone who is so different from me?' I think marriage is designed to call us out of ourselves and learn to love the "different." Put together in the closest situation imaginable living side by side, sleeping in the same room, even, on occasion, sharing our bodies with each other—we are forced to respect and appreciate someone who is so radically different."

I have already explained in an earlier blog that my friend I hurt is nothing like a woman that I would have chosen for myself, she's a little 2 HUMAN for me. You see while she's sensitive, tender and quiet. I am a little rough around the edges and outspoken. However, like Paul I've had a change of heart.

Although we share the same faith and passion for being active, we are different in just about every other area. But that's the way God planned it from beginning and it just may be something beautiful. I'm glad that we are different. It's like my friend Brad Stine says in his routine, "women got all the good parts. A man has nothing that I want." You see the world says, "men and women are equal."

The gospel says God made them different(Genesis 1:26-27, 5:2, Malachi 2:15, Matthew 19:4.) I know in a lot of ways she and I are like night and day, I'll get over it. You see it's not her dimples when she smiles or her long brown hair and not even her beautiful big brown-eyes that attract me to her and make me fall like gravity. I love her because, she lets me take the lead and be the man. That's what makes her beautiful to me, that's why I love her. I can't put into words how sorry I am for hurting her almost two years ago.

Thomas continues, "We need to be called out of ourselves because, in truth, we are incomplete. Marriage shows us that we are not all there is; it calls us to [sacrificially serve] another, but also to find joy, happiness, and even ecstasy in another. Yes, it is difficult to love your spouse. But if you truly want to love God, look right now at the ring on your left hand, commit yourself to exploring anew what that ring represents, and love passionately, crazily, enduringly the person who put it there." Like my love for Jesus, my love for her will carry me to the cross, daily.

Kent Nerburn wisely stated, "Remember that you don't choose love; love chooses you. All you really can do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.” Further, Paul described marriage itself as a mystery(Ephesians 5:32.) Notice how Paul explains spouses suffer for each other to become one? They each must die to themselves before becoming one. Ladies and gentlemen, we begins at THE END OF ME, myself and I. Again its NOT ABOUT ME.

Russian author and philosopher Leo Tolstoy once said, "I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for love." Now, I understand what he meant. Let me explain, I am determined to become more like Jesus, even to the point of suffering. Isn't that what Jesus meant by dying daily(Luke 9:22-26?) That means I must love, even when it hurts me to. Just when I was FINALLY FREE from the guilt I felt for not wanting to wait anymore, God redefines love to me. You can't guilt someone into loving you.

Max Lucado states in his book A Gentle Thunder, "love is only love, if chosen." With that said, my choice is to love my friend I hurt, whether it means waiting or suffering. I guess I take after both my heavenly Father and my biological father. I'm sure a lot of my friends reading this are disagreeing with me, but this is my choice. Filmmaker Robert Fritz explains, “It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” No one is more surprised by my change of heart than I am and I have complete peace, there's no fear; for perfect love casts out all fear. Isn't that what the gospel says( 1 John 4:18) if I BELIEVE IN GOD? Lord I TRUST IN YOU for this change in me. I have I explained in another blog how God has given me a new heart, actually God has been MAKING ME OVER since I had my accident 15 years ago.

Then again March is all about changes isn't it? Ironically, most of us view March as a cold, miserable month. However, the first day of spring is the spring equinox on March 20. The interesting thing about the equinox is there are the same amount of daylight hours as nighttime. You might say the day is lukewarm. Which sounds like the church in John's vision(Revelation 3:14-15) doesn't it? For those of you who know me, you know that I'm always taking pictures of flowers. To me flowers in the spring represent new life and new beginnings after a period of rest and thinking. Everything begins to change as spring arrives; the temperature rises, there's more sunlight and the birds are singing. You see when the birds start singing a different tune, something has changed. I just want to be outside. Honestly, I WANNA STAY that way.







Create a MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com