Most people who know me, know that I’m a transitional writer and I plan out my blogs months in advance as I see God leading me. About four months ago I began looking at what direction I would go with my blogs after finishing up the blogs relating to my first book. I had my blogs which I was moving from MySpace.com all lined up for the next five months. As normal Martin had his plans and knew what he wanted.
Little did I know, God had other plans, MySpace.com had been bought and rebooted for musicians to showcase their music and all of my old blogs were deleted. I tried for days to recover them. Then it hit me, God knows what He is doing and all I had to do was TRUST HIM and follow. The old saying is, "The devil is in the details." But God is in the grace. After all, if I’M A CHRISTIAN, if I follow the God of the Judeo-Christian Bible; I claim that He knows better than me because His ways are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9, Psalm 103:11). British theologian N. T. Wright explains, “We are not to be surprised if living as Christians brings us to the place where we find we are at the end of our resources, and that we are called to rely on the God who raises the dead.”
As the Lady, we know we can trust His ways and plans. Because He is in control and we’re not. Well, at least were not supposed to be. This has become a tricky subject for some because we’ve been fed a half gospel, “God wants to give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4), whatever is in your heart that is God’s will for you.” Really? Sounds pretty selfish to me and not that biblical, either. Remember, God gives us what we ask for in accordance with His will, not ours (1 John 5:14).
I often cringe when I hear false teachers claim to “speak” life into others’ lives by giving them a false hope of worldly success. They promise that you deserve and have whatever you want in Jesus’ name: needs, power and position because of Christ. Clearly these jokers are caught up in some POWER TRIP. They believe JUST SAY JESUS and everything will BE ALL RIGHT. Ironically at the beginning of Jesus’ earthly ministry Satan tempted Him with the same three things and Jesus refused them by saying that GOD IS ENOUGH; three times (Matthew 4:1 –11)!
These teachers make Christianity out to be a straight line to success; come to God and everything works out great, no problems. We even say catchy things like, “It’s not what YOU KNOW, it’s Who you know. “ As if this justifies a worldly lifestyle. God promises to direct our steps and guide us if we submit to Him in every way (Proverbs 3:6). The Hebrew word used here for straight is yashar, which also means perfect, righteous and upright. It’s the same word David uses in Psalm 33 over and over to describe God and His ways. The Christian dance with God isn’t like line dancing, but more like square dancing; which makes it more interesting doesn’t it? It’s either dance or die. God is not as concerned about making Christians happy as He is about making them Holy... His. A funny thing happens when we aren’t happy and trials come into our lives.
It makes us depend on His leading more, MEET MY SAVIOR. God never promises us that this journey will be an easy path to success. But it will be part of His perfect (yashar) plan for our lives. As the lady in the dance we must follow His lead. David’s son later writes that God holds success for the blameless and upright (yashar) (Proverbs 2:7). If we really believe that God has the right plans for our lives and they are for our good (Jeremiah 29:11), then we must let go and trust God. I confess, I know it’s hard to let go of your dreams or something you waited for. But I also know that God’s best is so much better than we can imagine. It’s so much better than anything this world has to offer.
Worldly success doesn’t reflect spiritual success and it doesn’t necessarily please God. Christian radio host and author Nancy Leigh Demoss explains, “What [others] most need is to see in you a reflection of what God is like and of the transforming power of the Gospel.” So these teachers are actually speaking death into people’s lives by encouraging them to love and worship worldly things, dark and dead things that can’t bring life at all.
While hoping for gold, the lady has become enslaved to fool’s gold. Christian rapper Lacrae recently tweeted, “Getting to chose your master doesn't make you any less a slave.” This is what the prophet Isaiah told God’s people in Isaiah 44. Their careers, food, and things had become their gods; worthless ones that couldn’t save them. Halfway through this chapter, God’s tone changes and He promises not to forget us and he is giving us a second chance, a fresh start like the morning. This is a prophecy referring to Jesus.
Jesus knew that God is the One who breathes life and light into a dark, fallen and sinful world. He was there in the beginning when God spoke light into the darkness and forever changed history (Genesis 1:3–4). C. S. Lewis once explained, “If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.” Jesus taught His disciples to store up treasures in heaven and to keep their eyes on heavenly treasures, not earthly. That’s how the lady becomes a night light and the world can see her inner glow, not by bragging and boasting about worldly success.
In fact Jesus taught His disciples not to worry about earthly things at all (Matthew 6:19 – 25). This is why the “Health, wealth and prosperity gospels” are sickly TWISTED and damning to the body of Christ. The messages aren’t about heavenly blessings, just worldly crap. Like catwoman we take what we want in the dark. And we think no one notices and we can get away with it? It’s adultery at its purest masquerading as a church! We have become no more than a lady of the night; we prostitute ourselves to anyone or anything that gives us a GOOD FEELING.
God’s greatest desire is for us to love Him, we are His Lady… His bride. And He is a JEALOUS God. He loves us deeply and He wants us to give Him everything, every aspect of our lives. He doesn’t just want an organ in our bodies or an emotion, He wants our very lives. And rightly so He gave His life for us (John 3:16). That’s a lot of love, and not just a romantic feeling, but a true love. This is why FAITH IS NOT A FELLING.
Kyle Idleman explains in his book Gods At War, “Your heart defines and determines who you are, how you think, and what you do because everything flows from it, your heart is the frontline for the gods at war.” This is why our hearts are important. Jesus warned that where your treasure is, your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21). What we treasure is what we live for.
Idleman continues, “In science, we know that it’s (heart) the blood pumping organ that makes the body run. It doesn’t think; it doesn’t feel. But in the Hebrew culture, the heart was seen differently. It was a metaphor for the center or core of a personality. It was the spiritual hub, and your life flowed from its orientation. The ancients knew that you could lightly touch the wrist and feel a soft beating – what we call a pulse. That same pulse can be felt in the neck and elsewhere. But place a hand over the heart, which is the center of a person, and the beating was more powerful. It stood to reason that everything flowed from the heart – to the Hebrew not only blood but personality, motives, emotions, and will.” Everything we do should glorify God.
If the Lady loves God as we claim, then we give Him all of our hearts, bodies, and souls; this is what God commanded from the beginning of His covenant with us (Deuteronomy 6:4-5). Basically God is repeating Himself over and over in this one passage, three times in fact He says love me with EVERYTHING that you are and have. This was the heart (forgive the pun) of Jesus’ life, pleasing God in every way, not ourselves and it is seen throughout the New Testament (John 5:30, 1 Corinthians 10:31 – 33, Galatians 6:7 – 10, Colossians 1:9 – 12, 3:17). Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”
In the Jewish culture repeating something three times was a DECLARATION of the strongest level. In Deuteronomy 6 it’s like yelling at the top your voice, “I’m in love with you.” Peter denied knowing Jesus three times after He was CAPTURED. Then later Jesus asked Peter three times, “Do you love Me? YOUR LOVE is shown by what you pursue. We may think in our minds that we’re pursuing God, but our lives prove otherwise. Sure we may justify it by saying we want to glorify God, but the ends never justify the means.
In a way we are like Peter aren’t we? We claim to believe in and love God, but our actions betray us, don’t they? Because love is about giving, not getting. Greg Groeschel explains in his book Weird, “God obviously cares much more about what happens in our hearts than what happens in our bank accounts, more about our attitudes than our credit scores. Giving generously changes you. It frees you up, undermines the power that money and possessions can have over you, and it makes you more like him.”
And all this time, we thought we are good, only He is holy. It’s sad because we honestly think we are the light of the world, yet we act no different. We chase the same worthless gods it does. Mark Twain once wrote, “Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.” The prophet Jeremiah warned God’s people about how dark and deceptive their hearts were (Jeremiah 17:9). It was because of this that the Israelites wandered in the desert for forty years. They were IN THE DARK of the wilderness for forty years. God tried to lead them by a cloud during the day and a pillar of fire at night (Exodus 13:22). Still their hearts led them astray every time. They wanted earthly Kings and rulers to lead them because God wasn’t enough for them after all.
The wise King David declared that God knows our hearts (Psalm 7:9, 19:12, 26:2). Of course David knew that his heart would lead him astray after all of his mistakes, he knew that we are sinful creatures by nature. We chase after things over and over like a dog returning to his vomit (Proverbs 26:11) and like an adulterous wife after other men. Sometimes I wonder if the bride is AWAKE AND ALIVE at all. If we are, we’re just COMATOSE at best. It’s no wonder that we need a SAVIOR from the darkness of this world.
Later Jesus told His disciples, His bride something similar to what the prophet Jeremiah said (Matthew 13:15). When the gifts become more important to the bride, we are on the path back into the darkness that Christ died to set us free from.Imagine getting married and your spouse is more interested in the wedding gifts than in you. Before you laugh think about it. Biblical counselor David Powlison states, “We are meant to long … for the Giver, not his gifts. The absence of blessings often is the crucible in which we learn to love God for whom He is.” Truth be known, we like the dark, don’t we?
We like the things of this world; money, success, sex, things (houses, cars and anything made by Apple). They satisfy us, they provide for us, they give us worth. However, they are nothing more than idols that tempt us in the night and WHISPER sweet nothings into the Lady’s ears. The American noise is deafening. I speak from experience, there’s a time that I enjoyed living in the dark myself. There was a time that I used my gift of music (playing guitar) to impress young woman and get them to my apartment. That gift is gone now. There was a time that I listened to those promises in the dark, blowing money with the best of them. And that is what this remixed blog is about, what goes on in the dark.
In the Dark (REMIXED And Reposted?)
It’s ironic that when I was a little boy living in Italy, I was terrified of the dark. I used to line the edges of my bed with stuffed animals to keep the nighttime monsters out. I even kept a flashlight hidden under my pillow. Author and psychologist Steve Maraboli writes, ““Fear can only grow in darkness. Once you face fear with light, you win.”
Maybe it was my wild imagination or maybe it was living in a foreign country, but I was scared to death of what I didn’t know and couldn’t see. Flash forward to my college years and the darkness was my friend. Or so I thought, the freedoms that came from being on my own and away from my parents became the very instruments used to enslave me and I began FALLING INTO THE BLACK and I called it FALLING IN LOVE, pathetic.
First, it was the God of sex. Then it was cigarettes and anything that could be smoked, then the liquor and alcohol. And finally, it was drugs. For some reason these demons always hunted me at night and I liked it. In fact I lived for them. It was during this time in my life that I got my piercings and my passion for dancing turbo style developed. Until one day God sent a Christian student from Jamaica into my life who confronted me about my lifestyle. He asked me if I was a Christian and I stated, “I’m a non-practicing Baptist. “
Upon hearing this, my best friend laughed and stated, “You’re no Christian, your Bible is just a big black book that sits under your bed collecting dust. “ I couldn’t argue with him because I knew that he was telling the truth. The only time that God and church crossed my mind was when I went to church with a young woman I was going out with or “friends” with.
It was one of his “friends” who convinced me to try drugs with her. It was during this “experiment” that we discussed faith and our problems with not understanding and trusting someone or something we couldn’t see. The next day when my best friend learned of my experience with “herbs” and he confronted me again and told me that he had lost respect for me for lowering myself to her level.
King Solomon tells us to trust words that hurt from friends and our enemies blow kisses to make us feel good (Proverbs 27:6). Up to this point, I was the only one in my circle of friends who hadn’t done drugs. I was duped, but it was my own fault. I had walked away from everything I once believed in because I wanted to live it up in this world. My heart had grown cold to the things of God. To be fully honest I knew she was playing games with my heart and I didn’t care. I just wanted to be with the hottest woman on the dance floor. I was intoxicated by the beauty and the beat. I would soon learn that warm bodies only hide a cold heart.
It was at that time that I remembered a Scripture that I had learned as a teen in high school. It was a warning the apostle Paul gave to his protégé Timothy about his heart, what to run from and what to pursue (2 Timothy 2: 22). I was running the wrong way and pursuing the wrong things. Then it happened, I heard that still small voice in the midst of the darkness.
It was a WHISPER IN THE DARK, but this time it was calling me to the light. I was out at a local bar with my friends for Disco Hell (of all things) and suddenly I felt like leaving and walked out. I ended up walking two blocks up the road like some kind of ZOMBIE to an alley park. I remember hearing the water a half block away and wondering what it was. It turned out be a waterfall in this park that I had never been to before.
Then, a childhood pastime came to mind and I climbed a tree while half drunk. It was there perched in the branches that I looked up into the dark sky and the stars began to twinkle (hey, I was drunk.) I was alone and I was ashamed, I cried out to God for help. I had gotten myself into a mess and I was HELPLLESS. I uttered the famous question, “ARE YOU REAL? I NEED SOMEONE to save me and I'm YOURS TO HOLD, HOLD ME NOW. ” The monologue ended with me declaring for Him to prove it and moments later my friends showed up with SEARCHLIGHTS to talk me out of the tree. That night was the start of my spiritual rebirthing after I hit ROCK BOTTOM and have gone OVER THE EDGE.
It was a half year later when God answered. It took dying to WAKE ME up and draw me nearer to my God. It was after I finally died that I surrendered and let go. After eleven months of rehabilitation, I was finally able to live for God. I can remember the first sunrise after I was taken off of the pain killers and medication used to treat my brain injury; it was the most beautiful sight. For six years I only saw the sun when I was coming home after a night out partying, but now things were going to be different. This time I finally noticed the birds singing. It was MAJESTIC.
It’s crazy the things you remember when you stop living for self. I began to remember the early mornings with my father when I used to go fishing with him in the mountains of Colorado, which is appropriate since a week from today will be nine years since he died. He used to tell me that the fish bite best before sunrise. We’d spend hours sitting by the lake drinking Shasta sodas and eating C-rations while we waited. There’s nothing like watching a sunrise. It’s become my favorite part of the day. The prophet Jeremiah declared that God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23 – 25). All the mistakes, regrets and hurts of the day before are gone. At least they should be, if we choose to live in the day and not the past or the future. The apostle Paul declared that today is the day of salvation (2 Corinthians 6:2). LOOK AT ME NOW, my OLD LIFE GONE.
The old cliché is “Its darkness just before the dawn. So maybe there’s some hope in the dark after all, maybe if we let go and let God be God He can do something BRAND NEW in our lives. First we must let God break our plans. Maybe it will be better than we could have ever imagined. But, first we must stop walking in the dark and begin living in a new day. Jesus warned His disciples that whatever is hidden in the dark will be brought to light (Mark 4:22). LET THERE BE LIGHT, like God said.
DAWN?
Recently I had to do some research for an article that I was writing for Fit Christian magazine. I was studying the effects of sleep on our health when I came across a sleep profile tool. After entering my information, I discovered that I am a “Lark” by nature because I function best in the morning and keep a routine of getting up before sunrise. If I sleep past 6 A.M. my body doesn’t function right and I become like a zombie. This is why I write best early in the morning or early in the evening while it’s dark out. When I WAKE UP, I hit the floor running. Yes sir, GOOD MORNING PLANETARIUM!
The point I was trying to make in the article is that most people neglect getting enough sleep at night while pursuing an exercise program trying to lose weight or gain muscle. Unbeknownst them, it’s while we sleep that the body rebuilds muscle, resets our minds and switches to burning fat to keep our bodies going. This way when we RISE in the morning everything from our minds to our toes are ready for a fresh start… a new beginning.
Let’s call it the dawn of a new day in our lives. It’s the chance to forget about yesterday and start walking a new path in life. Who wouldn’t be excited about this chance; whether it’s the second, third, fourth or fortieth chance. We can change if we swallow our pride. British evangelist Roy Hession once stated, “The Lord Jesus cannot live in us fully and reveal himself through us until the proud self within us is broken.” You can change. It’s sad; most people never understand or live the abundant life that comes from grace. Instead of changing, they want to stay in the dark. This is what the character Angel experienced in Francine River’s Redeeming Love she didn’t understand the power of a new day.
“It began slowly, hardly noticeable. The stars grew smaller and smaller and the black softened. She stood up, hugging the quilt around her, watching. At her back was darkness still, but before her was light: pale yellow, growing brilliant, gold-streaked with red and orange. She watched sunrises before from within walls and behind glass, but never like this, with the cool breeze in her face and wilderness in every direction. She had never seen anything so beautiful. “She'd never experienced grace and she didn’t understand that she could change.
It’s too bad former Congressman Anthony Weiner didn’t realize this, either. After all the dust had settled from his embarrassing fall from grace due to his lust for sex and he was beginning his bid for mayor of New York more scandalous information came out with more stupid and selfish sexual accusations. This career politician has gotten caught up in the business of pleasing people… of pleasing himself. He hasn’t realized life is about pleasing God, not ourselves. That is worship, yes life is worship. Worship is a lifestyle not a music style, that’s why most Christian’s spiritual growth has flat lined. That little line on everyone’s tombstone between our birthday and the day we die represents our lives.
Fill in the blank and you’ll know what you worship; sex like Mr. Weiner, money, power, success, music or your dreams. Please hear me now, these aren’t bad things unless they are on the throne of God and we worship them. And we have a choice, all of us do. On the line of King David’s tombstone, we may read “A man after God’s own heart.” Lately I’ve been finding myself on the Internet looking at land in Colorado that’s for sale, a new computer I want (need) and a new car that I like. Of course there are some Christians that believe God wants us to have the best, of this world. If you think that anything this world has to offer is God’s best, then you’re going to be gravely disappointed in heaven and never completely satisfied with the one true God.
We Christians like flirting with other gods. But we call it exploring OPTIONS, don’t we? I even receive email notices to tell me about the status of something I’m hoping for. Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming way too much about one or the other. By themselves, they are harmless. But, given enough room and power, I could end up living for them and they become attractive temptations. But none of it can BRING ME TO LIFE. To be honest, sometimes I feel obsessed. Lust isn’t just a sexual thing; it’s a desire for anything or anyone, which leaves me with a choice. Do I long FOR MY LOVER or God? Idleman writes, “God’s greatest gifts are his greatest tests.” It was St. Augustine who once declared, “Our hearts are restless until we are found in God. “
In a devotional by Rebecca St. James she shares a story about this choice, “A girl went to see a psychologist and was telling him all her problems, He said, ‘Why don’t you stop doing what you’re doing?’ She was enslaved to living life her way and giving into her selfish desires. And it was ruining her life in the process. Selfishness does not pay. We need to get serious about decisions we make each day because everything is a decision between God’s way and our way.”
I’m not trying to badger Mr. Weiner for his mistakes, I’m no better. Honestly, my heart goes out to him and his family, because there was a time that I too was a slave to sex. I too was a slave to pleasing people. That’s where my problems with drugs started. But I was living in the dark then and it was a total blackout. That’s not my home now. I’ve been clean, sober and celibate for over 10 years now by the grace of God. And I don’t want to go back, ever. Martin Luther King once stated, ““Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” Jesus taught that anyone who “believes” in Him would not stay in the dark (John 12:46). The apostle Paul reminds us that while we were dead in our sins, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Husbands pay attention to this next paragraph.
That means while we are willingly sinning against God… Hurting Him, He died for us. While I was running from Him and living it up like the prodigal son, my heavenly father was still there. He was never gone. Even IN THE MORNING when I woke up beside some young woman who I had slept with, He was there with me. To be honest I felt Him, the convictions were deep within my soul and I chose to ignore them, I can still remember THOSE NIGHTS. That voice that tells us we’re doing wrong isn’t the devil like false teachers say; it is the Holy Spirit telling us that we’ making a mistake, because He loves us. I chose to ignore His still small voice and listen to the voice of the devil. Yet, He still loved me and was showing me what love is (Romans 5:8). Even in our sin, we’re NOT ALONE. He was giving while I was taking, He was still giving…still loving. But we don’t BELIEVE IN LOVE anymore, do we?
LOVE?
THE OLDER I GET the more I realize that’s the biggest lesson I learned in the dark, what love is. It’s BETTER THAN DRUGS and it is something beautiful. It’s so beautiful you don’t want to close your eyes. As a man I can honestly say that’s the biggest difference between having sex and making love, the connection is so strong that you want the lights on, because you don’t want to miss a thing. Some ladies will keep their eyes open because there is no shame and no need to hide anything. Ladies know that love begins before the lights go out and keeps growing after they come back on; while sexual acts take place in the dark. Michael Hosea understood this as Francine Rivers continues, “Oh, he could have her now if he wanted. She would be accommodating, she would be expert. And he would know, all the while he poured his hope into her, that she was counting the beams in the ceiling or the chores for the next day or anything else that kept her from him. She wouldn't look into his eyes or care that he was dying inside for love of her.” There is an old English proverb that says, “The eyes are the window to the soul. “ I agree, maybe this is the reason I’m a sucker for pretty eyes.
After six years of playing hard and having a good time, I can only think of one woman I can call a lover of mine. The rest were just sex partners and definitely not ladies. This sets us apart from animals, even they have sex partners; but we can have lovers. Love requires genuine commitment to one person and there are no fallback plans or options. While I was looking through my medical records when I applied for my grants from Georgia, I was heartbroken and ashamed to read the statement, “Martin had inappropriate relations with his girlfriend in the hospital, however appropriate for his age.” referring to the friend I had tried drugs with, she wasn’t my girlfriend and she didn’t STAND BY ME. For some reason I was addicted to sex, not love. I never planned for it to be that way, I was raised in the church and I knew a BETTER WAY, but I was desperate for love or what I believed was love. At this point in my life, I know it was just sex; because love is one of the MATTERS OF THE HEART. Alright, maybe I’m just a helpless romantic.
In Redeeming Love Francine Rivers writes, “How had all her (Angel) desperate plans brought her here, to this horrible place of dirt and broken dreams?” Later Michael Hosea would voice his frustration with God and questioned His plans as well. Michael didn’t understand why or like the fact that God wanted him to marry a harlot, someone who didn’t understand or even want real commitment; since he had waited for love. But this was God’s will, whether either of them liked it or not. I don’t know about anyone else reading this, but I can relate to the both of them.
I’m sure that a certain young woman reading this understands exactly what I’m saying. I have fought with God and questioned His will many times in my life. Each time I find myself at the foot the cross asking for forgiveness because God really knows best. God chose to show His unending love through the prophet Hosea. The prophet Hosea’s love for Gomer wasn’t part of his plans but it was pure. You see, sex is planned; love happens and this is what makes it so beautiful. It’s not earned or controlled. Perhaps you’ve tasted it in an unexpected and passionate kiss. Those are always my favorite. Although I’m the guy, the best kisses are the ones I give spontaneously. What’s even better, a kiss with your eyes open. I want to see her reaction and glow; it’s not okay for a lady to stay in the dark.
