Worth It All!

Last month I shared about my parents’ marriage. Ready or not, here is the rest of the story. The last twenty years of their marriage was full of heartache and even a split between them. I remember watching my father fight for his marriage.

At one point I even left with him. I watched him cry himself to sleep every night. Anyone who knew my father knew he would do anything for my mother. Before he died he told me that he knew it would be hard being married to my mother, but didn’t know it would be worth it in the end. All the years of sacrifice, suffering and fighting only strengthened their love; which made their marriage something beautiful.


If they hadn’t died in 2004, today would’ve been there 52nd wedding anniversary. They weren’t the most educated, wealthy or popular. But, they taught me what real love and grace are and pride can hinder grace. This is why I’m a helpless romantic, willing to fight and wait for someone I care about. As a Christian I cannot withhold grace (Hebrews 12:14-15).We can’t live without grace.

Most of us sacrifice, fight and wait for what we want. I’ll wait forever, but I’m not patient. Patience is how you handle waiting (I’m more like a two-year-old child waiting for a toy. I cry and throw a temper tantrum until I get when I want.)

But when we do get it, when we breakthrough all the suffering and waiting, it’s normally worth it. It gives what we want more worth. The patriarchs of the faith didn’t receive what they waited for, but something more valuable (Hebrews 11:32-39.)

WORTH?

Worth means, “Good or important enough to value or justify.” Everyone values different things. One man’s trash is another’s treasure. I appreciate a good rainy day.

Being creative, there is nothing like a rainy day to sit inside and think. Stormy days also help us appreciate the sunny days more. When we finally get outside and enjoy the sunshine, we appreciate it more.

Sometimes God makes us wait and work for His best while He continues to shape us. During this season He equips us, I’m learning to grow during this season of waiting.

I’m trying to save money up to attend a christian writers' conference in May, so I can pursue my writing goals. Sacrifice and pain can get our attention like nothing else. I’ve learned when trials come, it’s not necessarily a bad thing—it can be the purest form of grace.

Grace doesn’t always feel good. God chastens those He loves (Proverbs 3:12, Hebrews 12:6). I learned it the hard way when I had my accident. I knew what God was doing because I knew what the Bible says about discipline. His kind of love doesn’t always feel good and isn’t easy.

I KNOW?

Before my accident, God sent friends to talk to me about how I was living, but I wouldn’t listen. I would just say I know what I‘m doing. God knew He had to get my attention, because I am stubborn as a child; which is why He had to use pain to refine me. By the grace of God the old me is dead and gone!

He knew some of the people I dated or spent time with weren’t good for me and had to get me away from them. Like the young woman who got me doing drugs. The ones who were my real friends I am still friends with and talk to today, some are Hindu and some Muslim. But they care enough about me to tell me the truth. The ones I lost never really my friends in the first place. It hurt at first, but time has healed those wounds, love broke through.


The 31st of this month is twenty years since I had my head cracked and I am in awe of the changes in me since (Hebrews 12:28.) I have a much higher tolerance for physical and emotional pain. Nothing hurts worse than letting your back decompress or watching doctors pull 65 Staples out that hold your face to your head.

It’s obvious it was a season for God to prepare me for the pain and heartache I’ve suffered recently and I’m closer to who He wants me to be. I know I have to give grace, even when I don’t want to. It would be much easier to get revenge or runaway. But the miracle is God has changed my heart. Because of grace, the past can't hold us.

I’ve seen countless miracles in my life over the last twnenty years. To be honest I’m rady and waiting for one more. I know it won’t be easy, but it just may be worth it all!



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