When I finally awoke from my drug- induced coma after my accident back in 1997 I had two major obstacles to deal with from the start. Obviously, I had to deal with the fact that I was different and the rest of my life would be lived as someone with a disability. The next hurdle to overcome was one that we all must face and tackle at some point in our lives, forgiveness. My emotions were running rampant from the shock of my condition and there were days that BITTER feelings were IN MY HEART, there was no compassion to be found.
This made the task of forgiving the man who had run his truck into my car all the more difficult. Renowned Christian author Lewis B. Smedes once wrote, “You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well. “ With all of the obstacles ahead of me; like learning to walk again, how to eat again, to tie my shoes and even to talk again. Forgiveness seemed like an impossible task. I was on the frontline of the battlefield of eternity. I’m not saying if we don’t forgive we’re locked out of heaven; just that it’s hard when you’re hurting, I know.
Still, I knew this was something I had to do if I was ever going to be free from the nightmare of the accident that happened 16 years ago on March 31st. Overcoming my injuries was going to be difficult enough task in itself without letting unforgiveness in my heart control me like some puppet and leave me constantly wondering WHY.
Perhaps you’ve experienced a difficult situation or some type of trauma in in your life as well. Radical grace is the most attractive thing in the world. Again, I'm not implying Christianity as an works-based faith, but a results-based faith. The end result is because we've been forgiven we must forgive others (Matthew 6:12-13). President Thomas Jefferson once stated, “It is reasonable that everyone who asks justice should do justice.”
Just maybe as you read this you're at a crossroad in your marriage or other significant relationship. And like me, your pain is legitimate. You have every right to be angry and want revenge. That's part of our human nature. However, I'm sure that like me you've been taught the Christian doctrine of forgiveness and how necessary it is to the Christian lifestyle; and you thought you had it all together, until life happened and like me you learned we’re all HUMAN. However, this isn’t an entitlement to sin (Romans 3:8, 6:1, 15).
It’s a chance to put on the LIKENESS of Christ and forgive. If ever there is a time to be hasty, it’s when it comes to forgiving. So what are you waiting for? Do not say “I DO” if you don't forgive. There is NO PLAN B in a marriage. This is why Jesus explained to the Pharisees that divorce was never part of God's plan and the Pharisees’ hearts were hard (Matthew 19:3-11).
English poet Alexander Pope famously wrote, “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” This is why I would never consider marrying a woman who holds a grudge and throws mistakes in my face because they’re fakin’ a Christian lifestyle. If you can't learn to forgive while dating; you have no business getting married, just sayin' sweetie. Nobel Prize winning Swedish economist and author Dag Hammarskjold once said, “Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.” Learning THE ART of forgiveness is part of being made in the likeness of the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE.
We all need forgiveness at some point in our lives. Surely you know WHAT I MEAN. Even as I sit here in the dark hours of the early morning writing this, I find myself asking God for forgiveness. This is my rest week from the gym and working out. I wanted to spend this week working on my book, yet I found myself uninspired and NUMB. To be honest I'm confused; I'm surrendering my time to God and doing His will, but I feel so alone. You see I’m fighting Him again. My frustration with God has hardened my heart and I need to be forgiven; which is what this blog will be about, the three most important WORDS in any relationship, I forgive you. Christian author George Verwer once wrote, “We who have Christ's eternal life need to throw away our own lives.” Holding a grudge against somebody we DON'T LIKE is about so much more than just being MEAN.
It's our love for someone that enables us to forgive them. Forgiveness is the heartbeat, the alphabeat of love. God's grace and love for us on the cross is how He chooses to forgive us, what SWEET LOVE. Grace and forgiveness go hand-in-hand; it’s how love wins. You can't give grace, unless you forgive. You can't forgive unless you love... you can't forgive until you die to self and your own personal rights (Ephesians 2:1 – 10). If you think you can, DREAM ON. You can't really live until you die (Ephesians 5:1 –8). C.S. Lewis once penned, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." Do you see how forgiveness is one of the LOVESIGNS in a relationship? If not, then read on.
FORGIVE? (REMIXED AND REPOSTED))
Alright, here we go, it's ME AGAIN. After a few things I almost did a couple of weeks ago I realized I'M NOT ALRIGHT. I knew God was working in my life, but I just didn't know how. So I had to ask Him, whatever you're doing, please show me? I was confused and hurting. So this led me to look back again at those life lessons I had learned (or hoped I had) over the years. In an earlier, blog I wrote that I learned the lesson of forgiveness in 2006.
I feel the need to explain in this blog. After both my parents died back in 2004, there was a little dispute between me and my sister that left me hurt and angry, so I refused to talk to her and her family. Until my good friend Brenda told me that I was wrong and she taught me HOW TO SAVE A LIFE. She told me to go to my sister and say forgive me, to let what was in the past stay in the past. I threw nearly two years away of seeing my sister and my nieces because of my pride, anger and unforgiveness. Funny thing is I never even had to say I’m SORRY or forgive me; there was no need for us to APOLOGIZE. We were both just happy to be a family again. Now, for the first time in decades we go to the same church together and sit together. It's like the Bible says, "While we were still lost in our sin God sent His son to die on the cross that we may be saved (Romans 5:8). On numerous occasions Paul explained how love and forgiveness work together ( 1 Corinthians 5:19, 13:5, Philemon 1:8-11).
It is by God's amazing grace, my chains are gone. The chains of my unforgiving heart were holding me back. I watched a movie not long ago called Love's Enduring Promise, which is FORGIVENESS. In the movie a young man makes a comment to his father that, "Tragedy is supposed to bring families together, but this family let tragedy tear it apart!" That hit home for me. Forgiveness is a big, big, deal in the Christian faith and life. Repeat the Lord's Prayer to yourself and you’ll understand. While Jesus hung on the cross, He said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. Forgiveness is the POWER OF THE CHRIST in us. The book of Luke tells us that Jesus said your sins are forgiven (Luke 5:22-24, 7:48). Jesus was always forgiving sins, even before He surrendered on the cross. I can honestly say I've learned this lesson. Even with my short temper, I know not to hold a grudge, which is how to save a life. I can say I’m FORGIVEN.
D.O.A.?
It’s been nearly 16 years since my accident; since I died, I was D.O.A. and LOVE FOUND ME. God is still using those lessons I learned when He rescued me in my life today to humble me and help me live “crucified.” This has become evident over the last three years as I've dealt with the betrayal of close friends and brothers in the faith, even pastors in the community. Some of them have wronged me time and again. I DON'T UNDERSTAND why they still blatantly lie to my face and think they can play me the fool like some VIOLIN, which is appropriate since today is April Fools' Day and also my mother's birthday.
This reminds me of promise I made to my mother just after my accident. She told me that I was too good-looking and too godly man to let a woman play me for a fool. She made me promise to never do that again. So I had to GET HUMBLE and let those brothers or BACKSTABBERS think that they had me fooled, and then I had to crucify myself and forgive them. Even after I consulted my attorney about what legal actions to take for their slander, I realized this wasn't how I should handle the situation; I had to let that humility thrive in me. It's easy to play dumb when everyone knows that you have a disability. Perhaps some of you reading this still think you got me fooled.
British theologian and author J. I. Packer once wrote, “The focus of health in the soul is humility, while the root of inward corruption is pride.” Perhaps you've been WOUNDED by someone you’ve trusted. Maybe you've been hurt by the church… maybe the sight of the cross fills you with shame and painful memories. While God intends for it to be a symbol of His love for us and of our love for each other (John 17:2-23); may GOD SAVE US ALL from ourselves.
This is why I 'm so inspired, yet so ashamed when I look at the cross. The Cross is God’s way to SHOW ME WHAT I’VE GOT in Him, unconditional love. In his famous book Concise Theology J.I. Packer explains, “Our salvation involves, first, Christ dying for us and, second, Christ living in us and we living in Christ, united with him in his death and risen life." But this death leads to real life (1 Corinthians 15:54). Although He lived 33 years, He was D.O.A. Remember, Jesus was BORN TO DIE. It wasn’t a murdered love, it was pure love for the world (John 3:16) He wasn't HANGING ON BY A THREAD on the cross; He was hanging on by His love for the world. It's true JESUS SAVED ME and you, and whoever believes in Him and chooses to follow Him. He's a memories and He is the God of the universe.
We must understand that the only one who can forgive anyone is the one who has been wronged by the offender. Not only do you show God's love and set them free, you free yourself from the pain and chains; YOU ALONE can make this choice, which should change how we look at the cross. According to Jesus forgiveness helps us break every chain that holds us (Matthew 6:9-15). Christian author Lewis B. Smedes once wrote, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”It's the only way to release the panic or else you'll live in fear like I did for nearly three years. The heartache and betrayal are behind me now and I'm LEARNING TO DREAM again. I'm learning to love again; all because I’ve learned to forgive and LET IT GO. I am MOVING ON. This is part of taking up my cross daily (Matthew 10:38, 16:24). Trust me there were times I wanted to call down A MILLION ARMIES to fight for me, to avenge me. There was a deep FIRE IN MY HEART for vengeance and who could BLAME ME? There have been so many times that I felt like blowing my top like an overheated radiator and going off in those people's faces.
However, as I sat back and let God take care of it, a ONE-MAN ARMY fought for me. Jesus will fight for you when you really follow Him, completely. After all, how could I fight? I'M NOT PERFECT, either. I’m in a SWORD FIGHT with myself because of MY DISEASE. British clergyman John Flavel once wrote, “It is easier to cry against 1,000 sins of others than to kill one of your own.” Jesus is the perfect and INCORRUPTABLE judge to give justice, not revenge. Irish playwright Oscar Wilde once wrote, "Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much." It's God's job to LIFT ME UP so He can be EXALTED, not mine (Job 22:29, Psalm 138:6, Proverbs 3:34, James 4:1-7).
I knew God would WORK IT OUT and I decided to wish them peace (Romans 5:1-5). To the world that may seem foolish and honestly I feel like someone hit the crazy button in my life as well. Humility, mercy and forgiveness aren’t just the PILLARS of the Christian faith; they are part of the foundation of the Jewish faith.
David (the man after God’s heart) was constantly CRYING OUT that he had sinned against God alone and asked for forgiveness (2 Samuel 12:13, 24:10, Psalm 41:4, 51:4). David knew who he had hurt and who he needed forgiveness from. Paul tells us that we have all sinned against God (Romans 3:23). I can still remember how it was when I walked in darkness. Saint Augustine once said, “Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again.” You see that is how I want to look across, this is why I BELIEVE in Eloah Seilichot (the God who forgives) (Exodus 34:6-7, Numbers 14:18, Nehemiah 9:17, Psalm 86:5); the God of new beginnings.
Hundreds of years later the Pharisees missed this as they accused Jesus of blasphemy for forgiving sins and they sought to destroy Him, sounds like the DEVIL’S BEEN TALKIN’. Although they put on a good show it was just MAKE BELIEVE, they had forgotten that they served a God of love and mercy which is seen throughout the Old Testament, not just the New Testament.) Later in the New Testament the apostle Paul taught about what love is and how it forgets wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:1-5). DON'T LET ANYBODY GET YOU confused. If they say they forgive you, it's done and should never be brought up again. That's why Jesus declared that it's finished on the cross.
Our Lord called the Pharisees on this many times, He knew they were just fakin' it. On one occasion after Jesus taught about sin and forgiveness, He confronted the Pharisees for not forgiving and declared that their father was a cold-hearted snake (John 8:30 – 40). Later Jesus warned His disciples to BEWARE of false teachers who talk the talk but don't walk the walk; they are wolves dressed as sheep (Matthew 7:15-23). On the outside may appear and sound like followers of Christ, but their actions prove otherwise. Paul preached that we are the light of the world and we should live as children of the light (Ephesians 5:8).
I’m not talking about some strange aurora. Lights are seen, not heard. Sometimes this leaves us at a crossroad and we have to decide what matters most to us, we should be sharing the good news (Acts 20:24). So go light your world. Not sit around and just talking about your beliefs. Although coffee houses have been around for centuries (especially in Europe), they became trendy in the 1990s as a social gathering before trending was trendy. Yet, we find them in many churches today, I thought Christians aren't supposed to conform to this world (Romans 12:1 – 4). Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my cup of coffee like everyone else. David Platt recently tweeted, “The greatest deterrent to death-defying obedience to Christ is the mistaken illusion that this world is our home.”
Please understand quoting scriptures about God’s love and sitting around coffee tables discussing Jesus' teachings doesn't make you a Christian. Only surrendering your life to and following Christ does. It does the world no good for Christians to stand around quoting scriptures if their lives don't line up with scripture that simply makes us a HYPOCRITE. Let me clarify, I'm not saying that we are perfect, but changed. Our words are empty, if we aren’t changed and live differently. His words are eternal, because He changed everything on that cross, ONCE AND FOR ALL. Our sins are remembered no more; the prophet Micah declared that they are at the bottom of the ocean (Micah 7:17-19). Those first disciples understood this; this was history 101 for the Jews (Psalm 44:11, 22, Jeremiah 12:3).
Many were physically crucified on crosses; it is believed that the Apostle Andrew was crucified on an X-shaped cross at his own request. As tradition tells, he felt unworthy to die on the same type of cross on which his Lord, Jesus Christ, had died. British journalist and writer Malcolm Muggeridge once wrote, " I can say that I never knew what joy was until I gave up pursuing happiness, or cared to live until I chose to die. For these two discoveries I am beholden to Jesus.”
Legend has it that Peter was crucified upside-down because he didn’t feel worthy of being crucified in the same way as Jesus had been as well. John preached that servants are not better or greater than the Master (Jesus) (John 15:20). Early church martyr St. Ignatius once wrote, “It is not that I want merely to be called a Christian, but actually to be one. Yes, if I prove to be one, then I can have the name.” I find myself wondering what happened to the real men of the church, the gladiators who faced lions and bears for their faith. Instead we have pansies that cry about every little trial that comes their way and run LEFT, RIGHT instead of facing the fight. Where are the fighters? We need to RISE UP again and stop sitting in our churches talking about the lost and start talkin’ to them, that’s evangelism…that’s ministry, meeting people’s needs where they are. True evangelism is always an action (Matthew 28:19- 20, James 2:17).
It's not easy following Christ… carrying our crosses; but I am PERSUADED this death leads to life everlasting. This forgiveness leads to life as well. We’re all dead on arrival (D.O. A.) when we come to cross. When we enter GRACELAND and are forgiven, our old selves and lives are over (2 Corinthians 5:17, Romans 6:6, Colossians 3:3-9). When we refuse to let go of our lives and ways, we refuse Jesus’ command to FOLLOW ME. German theologian and pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer famously said, “Only he who believes is obedient, and only he who is obedient believes.”
In his book ALL IN, Mike Guzzado explains, “When I was getting ready to marry my wife, Alicia, I heard all the warnings from my friends. ‘Mike, are you sure you want to do this? You probably won't be able to stay out all hours with the fellas as much as you do now. You’ll have to act more civilized in public and, worst of all, she probably makes you put the toilet seat down! Are you sure you're up for this?’ I promise you, I was so in love that when I heard these things; I just looked at them and said, ‘Are you kidding me? Who cares!’ I knew the treasure I was getting in Alicia was so much more valuable than anything I would need to part with to have her. In fact, I was actually excited to make any changes necessary for our love to flourish. That is what love is supposed to be like, whether with your future spouse or with God…. In the Christian life, there is sacrifice involved. Certain things must die, but it is death for the sake of life!” Remember this is not our home (1 Peter 2:11), don’t try to make yourself comfortable.
I n Jesus’ time the Roman Empire ruled the world. From England to India the Empire had total control. The Roman Empire had established its kingdom here and it was a rich one. Because a comet appeared in the sky when Julius Caesar died the people believed he was ascending to heaven. There was a saying in that region, "Caesar is Lord." The people literally worshiped Caesar and that's what he wanted.
Then a group of Jews appeared saying their Rabbi had ascended to heaven and they worshiped Him instead. They refused to bow down and worship the Roman Empire; they refused to worship riches of this world because they knew there was a more powerful kingdom to become part of. These Jews followed their Rabbi so close that they were given the name Christians. This infuriated Caesar Augustus (Julius Caesar's adopted son) so much that he had Christians crucified for not worshiping him, for not worshiping the things of this world; IT'S A WAR, the age-old war that began in THE GARDEN. WHO WILL YOU FOLLOW?
David Platt has also tweeted, “A materialistic world will not be won to Christ by a materialistic church.” Nor will it be won by an unforgiving church who claims to follow a humble, loving and forgiving God. Where would we be if Jesus only said COME TO ME to those who are PERFECT? French theologian and writer Francois Fénelon once noted, “There is but one way in which God should be loved, and that is to take no step except with him and for him, and to follow … everything which he requires.”
Rob Bell was right when he coined the phrase, “Between the trees will; the Genesis tree and the Revelation tree.” That's where life really begins. This is demonstrated again at Calvary, on one tree hung repentance while the other was bitterness and unforgiveness; between the two was forgiveness embodied in our Lord Jesus Christ. A choice must be made about which side we will take our stand, where we will spend eternity.
Regardless of what the world thinks, He is STILL THE KING and we can't HAVE IT ALL if we really worship Him. Even the Pharisees were more concerned about MONEY, power in their position than the people. Perhaps like me you've seen firsthand what having power and position in the church can do to a person. Recently the new head of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis angered the clergy by going against church tradition and humbling himself by washing the feet of prisoners and the disabled. The age-old Golden rule is to do onto others as you would have them do to you. This is why Jesus told a parable to His disciples about a king’s forgiveness and MERCY (Matthew 18:33-35). The point of the story is because our Lord has forgiven us, we should also be crucified and forgive.
