All right, it's been a while since I've been in the kitchen and posted a new blog. I'll try my best to explain why and pick up where I left off in my series on the way we are growing. I can honestly say, this one has been A LONG TIME COMING. Remember sometimes food has to marinate awhile before it truly tastes the best and is tenderized.
Some German recipes can take days to marinate, like the ancient German recipe for German Rhineland Sauerbraten which takes 4-7 days of marinating. Which is why I prefer my viener schnitzel(hint,hint) no marinating, just light seasoning. You know how I like my "red" meat. Likewise, sometimes God has to leave us in the refiner's fire a little longer to get all of the impurities out. I'm no exception. If you are truly a child of God, He is going to allow whatever He must to get you where He wants you.
I have already explained in an earlier blog that it is through pain that people change; we will hurt, we will suffer in this life. It's a promise of Jesus (John 16:33) and the gospels (1 Peter 4:1-19,Philippians 1:29, Matthew 5:11, Acts 14:22). Christians aren't spared pain or trials and trouble in this world, we will shed tears in this life. Sometimes they will fall like purple rain. It lets you know you're AWAKE AND ALIVE. Henry Ward Beecher once noted ," Tears are often the telescope through which men see far into heaven." Because Jesus has overcome this world, He can be an Angel by your side when we are hurting. It's God who puts the broken pieces back together again, He is a strong God.
Sadly, I know that theology goes directly against what most "teachers" and "preachers" are putting out today; health, wealth, power and prosperity. Just like the devil, these "teachers" have TWISTED the truth just enough to make people "HAPPY". Here's the problem and where this sugarcoated theology falls a part; what does it mean when God doesn't heal that person with cancer, when God doesn't "bless" that financial seed, when God doesn't mend that broken marriage? What does it say about the believers who can't seem to shake the devil off their backs and suffer heartache after heartache, setback after setback? Isn't God sovereign and in control?
I found myself wondering did I make a mistake by making a fool of myself? Was I wrong for feeling the feelings I felt. Why did God let me go through this? Then I remembered that it's only a mistake, if I don't learn from it. It's only a mistake if I don't grow from it. American architect and author Norton Juster once wrote,"You must never feel badly about making mistakes ... as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wrong reasons.” Listen to how the wisest man who ever lived explained it (Proverbs 26:11). We're only fools if we don't learn from it.
Moreover German born American(yep-yep) Albert Einstein explains, 'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Still I found myself feeling foolish for my decision. Organizational behavior specialist Steve Maraboli believes, "Don't confuse poor decision-making with destiny. Own your mistakes. It’s ok; we all make them. Learn from them so they can empower you!” In retrospect, I can see what God was teaching me. I had become more patient and was reminded of the three facets of love: humility, SACRIFICE and service. love is all three working together to produce good and character in us. Someone once said, Character is a victory, not a gift. Character is not made in a crisis - it is only exhibited." Listen to how Paul explains this in his letter to the church in Rome( Romans 5:3-8).
Still, these are questions I faced myself the last few months. After spending two years of waiting and hoping, God closed a door. What hurt the most was the lying and betrayal of people I trusted and confided in. These weren't just friends, but "brothers" and "sisters" in the faith that I had shared meals with and even worked out with at the gym with. I felt so betrayed and left barely breathing and damaged by the whole experience. You see it takes a lot to bring a grown man to his knees and leave him crying out on the bathroom floor for his mother, whom he wasn't even close to. In the end I was all cried out. But it took all the pain for God to UNDO ME, to undo the chains I was tangled in and He can WORK IT OUT.
I know the door is shut for good; I can now reclaim my independence and can move on. I found myself questioning God about everything from my calling to my relationship with Him. I spent time in the cave like David and I read my Bible over and over. I noticed a common theme from the Old Testament through the new, brokenness. Every since the fall in the garden, things have been broken and the Bible says we live in a fallen world. I recently saw a church sign that said it best, "The wages of sin is death. It's been a fixed rate for thousands of years and is nonnegotiable." At one point in his letter to the church in Rome the apostle Paul declares that even creation is crying out to God(Romans 8:22). The Bible tells us that God is even aware of and concerned when a sparrow falls to the ground (Matthew 6: 26, 10:29, Luke 12:6,) so God is even concerned when doves cry. Charles Spurgeon once noted, "Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties."
Rob Bell explains in his book Sex God, "In the first chapter of Genesis, when God first creates His people, He blesses them. This significant. God's blessing is the peace of God resting on people. The story begins with humans in right relationship--in healthy, life-giving connection-- with their maker. All of their relationships flow from the health of this one central relationship-- people and God. They're connected with the earth, with each other. They're naked and feel no shame. And then everything goes south. They choose another way. And they become disconnected. Disconnected from each other. Disconnected from the earth. The woman is told that there's going to be conflict between her and the man. The man is told there is going to be conflict between him and the soil." It doesn't seem like paradise anymore, does it?
Bell continues, "And this is where you and I come in. We were born into the world, into a condition, of disconnection. Things were created to be a certain way, and it's not that way, and we feel it in every fiber of our being. Is this why the first thing newborns do is cry?... Scholars believe that the word sex is related to the Latin word secare, which means 'to sever, to amputate, or to disconnect from the whole. This is where we get words like sect, section, dissect, bisect... If we take this understanding of our natural state seriously, we have to rethink what sexuality is. To many sexuality is simply what happens between two people involving physical pleasure. But that's only a small percentage of what sexuality is. Sexuality is all of the ways that we strive to reconnect with the world, with each other, and with God."
Mankind is crying out to God while He is reaching out to us, this communicating between God and man is sexual in the purest sense. Man and creation reconnecting with God. Sex is the most intimate form of communication and ironically it only occurs when we are most vulnerable. No wonder God is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18, Psalm 51:17, Psalm 109:16). So this vulnerability and brokenness leads to pleasure, don't they? Why aren't we being taught this at church? Instead we are taught to mask or hide our hurt and pain, they are even seen as a sign of weakness and lack of faith. And for the likes of me I cannot figure out why we are taught this. Perhaps some overspiritualize things so they can look more spiritual. So they can look like they have it all together or maybe they're just trusting in themselves more than in my God.
A. W. Tozer once said, "Humble yourself and cease to care what men think. A meek man is not a human muse afflicted with a sense of his own inferiority. Rather,... he has stopped being fooled about himself. He knows well that the world will never see him as God sees him and he has stopped caring. He has obtained a place of soul rest. The old struggle to defend himself is over." Isn't it more honest to say I'm not alright when we're hurting? Isn't lying a sin? We are told we should " name it and claim it or believe and receive." Further David's son declared that there is a proper time for grieving(Ecclesiastes 3:4). Remember, most of David's psalms were written while he was staying in the cave of Adullam and crying to God. He didn't hide his fear, pain or suffering. Instead he let it draw him closer to and declared his dependence on God.
During my time in the cave I read a book my mentor gave me a earlier this year called Honest To God (becoming an authentic Christian) by Bill Hybels. Hybels explains," Too often we Christians settle for inauthentic Christianity. We experience only partially the changes God can produce in our lives, and we go through the motions that keep our faith lukewarm at best and make our Christian lifestyles mostly a vicarious experience.... The dictionary defines something as 'authentic' when it 'conforms to what it is represented or claims to be.' Authenticity means consistency--- between words and actions, between claimed values and actual priorities. Inauthenticity then means that we claim to be one thing, then prove to be something else." It's hypocrisy! Author and pastor Jamie Buckingham once wrote, "Scars are not evidence of imperfection; they are evidence of healing. Your scars glorify God." Our suffering is where the hurt and the healer come together. David Platt wisely wrote, "We are free to embrace suffering once we realize that death is reward."
I don't recall anywhere in the gospel where any of the disciples put on a plastic SMILE of Christianity, more specifically the apostle Paul on more than one occasion, "boasted" in his weakness and suffering(2 Corinthians 11:30, 12:5, 9-10) Paul wrote this letter while he was still in Asia Minor(possibly at Ephesus) teaching them a new tao(an ancient Asian term for way, path or doctrine) of humility, it's a path that Paul walked himself after his conversion. Luke shares a parable that Jesus taught to a group of religious Pharisees about being honest about brokenness and glorifying God(Luke 18:9-14). Matt Redman explains in his book Mirror Ball, "God is love—and through the life of Jesus we see that love in nonstop action. Sometimes it is still and peaceful like a gently flowing stream. At other times it overturns temple tables in a rage, standing up for justice and reverence. We must have the whole picture—the incarnate, active, passionate, surrendering, dying, rising, ascending, reigning Jesus who moves in love and rules in power."
You see, when this "other son of David," Jesus showed up; He upset the apple cart by shifting the paradigm of religion. Although Jesus was God and King of the Jews, He humbled Himself (Philippians 2:6 –8) to teach us how to love(John 3:16). And this is why the Jews rejected Him, He wasn't the mighty and Royal Savior they wanted, He was the UNDERDOG. Worse yet, He went around teaching His followers things like, loving by serving, sacrifice and suffering ( John 12:25-26, John 13:12-17, Matthew 20:27-28, Mark 8:35 , Luke 9:24,14:26, 17:33), this is the tao of love. He tells us that unless we do these we can't be one of His disciples (Luke 14:33). Paul explained to the church in Rome that Christ was crucified and we must follow Him so that we can live with Him(Romans 6:4-9, 7:6). When we die to the flesh (the world,) we die to things of this world and we do it for the glory of love.
Anthony W. Thorold once said , "It is the habit of making sacrifices in small things that enables us for making them in great, when it is asked of us. Temper, love of preeminence, bodily indulgence, the quick retort, the sharp irony, - in checking these let us find our cross and carry it. Or, when the moment comes for some really great service, the heart will be petrified for it, and the blinded eyes will not see the occasion of love." It's ironic that in the church we use the term "Christian soldiers," yet somehow the phrase loses its meaning in the modern church. Being an Army brat, I completely understand the term. After watching my father serve in the military for 21 years and my brother for the last seven years, I understand the discipline and the sacrifice of being a soldier. I understand what the term "All gave some and some gave all" means. Perhaps this is why I am drawn to my mentor and other Army brats, whoa.
John MacArthur once noted,"The cost of true greatness is humble, selfless, sacrificial service. The Christian who desires to be great and first in the kingdom is the one who is willing to serve in the hard place, the uncomfortable place, the lonely place, the demanding place, the place where he is not appreciated and may even be persecuted. Knowing that time is short and eternity is long, he is willing to spend and be spent. He is willing to work for excellence without becoming proud, to withstand criticism without becoming bitter, to be misjudged without becoming defensive, and to withstand suffering without succumbing to self pity."
Again, this is were Jesus breaks out of the box of this world and religion. He teaches that like sacrificing and serving our nation is an honor, Christians should look at suffering and serving as a privilege and honor(Matthew 19:27-29, Luke 9:57-62, 14:25-33). Listen to what Jesus' half-brother James had to say about pride(James 4:6). Mother Teresa explains,"There is joy in transcending self to serve others." After all, we were MADE TO LOVE.
Remember, joy is more than being happy. Joy trumps HAPPINESS because happiness is dependent on our circumstances. Happiness is temporary, while joy is eternal. Someone once said, "If you live for happiness, you are a prisoner of circumstances because if the circumstances change, then you are not happy anymore." Happiness is an emotion and emotionalism isn't spiritual, it's unstable. Spirituality is rooted in a relationship with God and the word of God, it's stable. Here is where the paradigm shifts even more for Christians. When we have a real encounter with Jesus, our wants and and priorities change. After my near-death experience, my life changed. How could it not? Not because I saw myself covered in my own blood in the wreck, because I see myself as covered in the blood of Jesus. There is no way a person can't change after seeing themselves covered in blood,everything changes. Perhaps this is why there is a strong connection between a mother and her child? Which is demonstrated by her love and sacrifice for her children and family, this is the wisdom that Solomon gives us in one of his most famous Proverbs, Proverbs 31 and it comes from his mother. It is about so much more than just being a Godly woman, this one is for the church, it is a picture of LOVE ON DISPLAY.
The Pharisees and the Jews completely missed Salomon's prophecy about how the Bride, the LADY... the church would look and act (Proverbs 31:10-31) and what we still miss today, you see there are two kinds of women mentioned in Proverbs 31. The first is a harlot who has become drunk on wine with the kings of this world to escape her pain (Proverbs 31:1 – 7). Then something changes, Solomon talks about standing up for the poor and needy. He talks about being a just judge. Next we meet a second woman who is, quiet, modest and hard-working. Yet, she is clothed in purple: purple is a symbol of royalty and purification of sin in the Jewish culture. She makes sacrifices for and serves her husband and family and she does it without complaining. You might say she is a joyful giver. And Solomon says her husband is, "Blessed."
Don't forget Paul explained to the churches in Ephesus and Colassae that wives are to be submissive to their husbands(Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18). Again, I don't say this with the "Lord it over her" mentality, but to show how the bride is SO FAR APART from this picture Solomon and Paul have given us. Remember, marriage is like a dance where the man leads and guides his partner and she freely and willfully follows his lead and there's harmony in their movement as one; his strength becomes her weakness and her weakness becomes his strength. Pastor Bill Purvis recently said, "marriage is the best example of the harmony of heaven on earth."
If the marriage covenant between a man and woman is a picture of the relationship between Jesus and the church, we should be more submissive and obedient to Him. Shouldn't we? I'm sure some of you are thinking that this belief is legalism. I'm so sick and tired of Christians and their church talk using words like "grace" and "blessings," who want to get rid of the law altogether. What they fail to realize is that it's the law that gives grace it's power. It's the law that lets me see the despicable me which is why I NEED YOU, Lord. ALL I REALLY WANT is you. Without the law to show us how weak and sinful we are, there's no need for grace. There is no need for a Savior, is there? Jesus said Himself, that He didn't become to abolish the law, but to fulfill it(Matthew 5:17).
I once had a friend in men's ministry that explained to me, "Obedience is the sincerest form of worship." We can't truly worship Him, until we are obedient and follow Him. Listen to how Paul put it in his letter to the church in Rome(Romans 6:13, 16, 12:1) instead Christians are more concerned about looking Godly, than living Godly. Warren W. Wiersbe notes, "When reputation (which is what everybody knows about us) becomes more important than character (which is what God knows about us,) we have become hypocrites!"
And this is where the analogy comes full circle, Proverbs 31 isn't exactly a true picture of the church and most Christian woman. Instead we put on our church clothes, our fake halos and our church talk, so we think I'm good, I'LL GET BY. A Proverbs 31 woman is both brave and FRAGILE SOMETIMES. She works hard even when it's cold out(31:12-21) and she is kind to the poor(31: 20,) she is at peace with who she is and where she's been. She's dealt with her past instead of running from it. Jennifer Joanna Aniston once said, "The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain."
So what's wrong with running from pain, who wants to hurt or suffer? The problem is eventually like a volcano, all of that pressure and pain will eventually come out and it won't be pretty. Hybels explains, "Psychologists would tell us that these people are dealing with 'unfinished business'-- issues from the past that negatively affect the present behavior because they never properly dealt with the problems. Pain that was submerged. The experts tell us that unfinished business is the source of many of the emotional and relational difficulties we face." Do you see the misconception of the "feel-good "gospel?
Hybels continues , "I get very uncomfortable Christians try to prove their maturity and love for God by refusing to knowledge legitimate pain. I fear they're not being authentic in regard to their emotions. But then there's the other extreme. Some people don't believe at all and this opium called rejoicing. They can't find anything praiseworthy in pain. In fact, they leave God out of the picture entirely.... They take their eyes off Jesus, stop reading the Bible, stop praying and stop listening to the encouragement of Christian friends. And in the end, they quietly whisper, where is God in all of this? Does he have no role to play in my attempt to cope? Must I face the road winds of life all alone?" And this solidifies the need for an authentic church."
Hybels concludes, "Philippians 4:4 obviously decries that approach.. The kind of rejoicing Paul spoke of required no over spiritualized denial of emotional authenticity. His 'rejoicing' required a rugged, mature faith that authentically acknowledged both the pains of life and the power of God." Where does that leave the church and Christian women?
Hybels advises, "Be saddened by the disappointments of life. But put those heartbreaks into the overall context of the ongoing activity of God in the world, your life and in eternity. Then focus on the praiseworthy portion of the situation so you can rejoice authentically...Thoughtlessly chanting 'praise the Lord anyway' is not being real. So let's go beyond that, let's drop the hypocrisy and be honest with ourselves.. Repeatedly David expresses heartfelt confusion: 'God, I don't understand this. How can you treat me this way? Why do the righteous suffer while the wicked prosper? Help me understand this! What I've learned is that often these authentic outpourings of frustration, or even anger, are necessary steps on the path to wholeness." Secular singer Adele says, "Beauty comes from within, not from what you wear."
The Proverbs 31 woman isn't necessarily outwardly beautiful (31:30 ). She has a deeper beauty on the inside that overflows. Swiss American psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kuibler-Ross once said, "The most beautiful people are hose who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fill them with compassion, gentleness, and deep loving concern. beautiful people do not just happen." Ross was a pioneer in near-death studies and author of the groundbreaking book on Death and Dying and later developed the five stages of the grief cycle.
Bell continues, "You can't be connected with God until you're at peace with who you are. If you're still upset that God gave you this body or this life or this family or these circumstances, you are never be able to connect with God in a healthy, thriving, substantial sort of way. You'll be at odds with your maker and if you can't come to term with who you are and the life you been given, can never be able to accept others and how they were made and the lives they've been given. And until you're at peace with God and those around you, you will continue to struggle with your roll on the planet... You will continue to struggle and resist and fail to connect... The other day my five-year-old son asked my wife, 'Mom, what does sexy mean?'... And then she replied, 'sexy is when it feels good to be in your own skin. Your own body feels right, it feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you. Because it all starts with being sexy on the inside."
Until the church realizes that it's who is on the inside of us that makes us beautiful and stops trying so hard to look Godly, we can't have peace. We can't be the Lady, so OPEN YOUR EYES. Which brings me back to Proverbs 31, she's not running around with her Bibles in the air saying,"LOOKIEATME." She knows it's not about her, but about who is in her. Last year my best friend introduced me to a "strong Christian woman," I should have known she wasn't authentic the moment she stepped out of her car wearing a V-neck blouse that would make Madonna blush. Bro, I owe you for that one!
The the older I get the more I feel and understand that the more skin a woman shows me, the less I want to see; while the less skin she shows me, the more I want to see. This is the mystery and intrigue of a classic lady, there's no need to shake your bon bon. Which is contrary to how most women act, even in the church. Somehow they believe their humps are what make them a lady, when actually they just make her a woman. A lady is defined by how she acts and carries herself. What makes a Proverbs 31 woman a SHOWSTOPPER is how she lives. Webster's defines a lady as, "a woman of superior social position or a woman of refinement and gentle manners." Nope it's not even her brown eyes or long brown hair. A lady knows that even a CARELESS WHISPER can ruin both her reputation and harm her character. She won't be POPPIN' OFF at and let vulgarities be BOOMIN' from her mouth.
The gospel has a lot to say about what comes out of our mouths( Proverbs 21:23, Matthew 12:36-37, 15:10-11, Ephesians 4:29, 5:4, Colossians 3:8, 2 Timothy 2:16, James 3:6-10). Then, they turn around and say things like, "I just want a man to sweep me off my feet and live happily ever after." While the gospel is clear, a man isn't supposed to make a woman happy, but HOLY (Ephesians 5:22-33).Mike Howerton writes, "But holiness isn't magic. It's a choice to make the same decision that Jesus made when he was tempted. It's a choice to lean into God's Word. It's a choice to draw near to God the Father. And it's a choice to allow Him to transform your thinking."
It's kind of hard for a guy to sweep a woman off her feet, if she's always lying on her back. A true gentleman isn't worried about woman's looks and hittin her curves, he doesn't won't want your sex, he wants her heart. I wonder if more girls were willing to be ladies, more guys would feel challenged to be gentleman. Instead of being ladies, they'd rather be little bad girls.Church it's time to step up and MAN UP. And that's why this blog isn't just for the single ladies, but for LADIES, FELLAS!
LADIES(REMIXED AND REPOSTED?)
If you've read any of my earlier blogs, you know my number one pet peeve is Christians that talk the talk, but don't walk the walk. More specifically, this one is FOR THE LADIES. 12 years ago, when I made my covenant with God, I had no idea how rare true ladies where. There are the exceptions. Trust me, I'VE BEEN LOOKING AROUND for a PROVERBS 31 WOMAN. Most dress with their chest or butts hanging out showing as much skin as the women at THE VIDEO SHOOT, they are simply VIDEO GIRLS. But, I wish you would OPEN UP YOUR HEART. Or I'm left with a JEZEBEL and feeling like ohh Ahh. No, the one I'm trying to hold on for won't make me READ BETWEEN THE LINES or leave me wondering what if or if SHE BELIEVES IN ME. She will be a true Proverbs 31 woman and LET THAT THANG GO, she won't be SUPAFLY. Like Solomon said, she will be worth more than DIAMONDS( Proverbs 31:19,) she's not a SHOWPIECE. I'll look IN YOUR EYES and you'll BE MINE, the LADY OF MY HEART.
BEST 2.0?
For those of you who know me, you know the first thing that I look for physically in a woman is her eyes, as soon as I see them, I am CAPTURED and not just by their color. Because, as I've stated before, I hate being lied to. My father always taught me to look into someone's eyes when they're talking to me and I'd know if they're lying. Listen to what Jesus had to say about our eyes(Matthew 6:22-24). Notice how He disconnects God(spiritual) and money(the flesh)? Various poets have written, "The eyes are the windows to the soul." Recently, Mats Larsson, a psychology graduate student at Örebro University in Sweden has linked iris patterns to personality traits. Larsson took photos of 428 volunteers’ eyes and administered a standard personality test. He then counted the frequency of crypts (squiggly lines radiating out from the pupil) and furrows (circular lines curving around the outer edge of the iris.)
He found that a low frequency of crypts was significantly associated with tender-mindedness, warmth, trust, and positive emotions, whereas more distinct and extended furrows were associated with impulsiveness. Still, cautions Larsson, "looking deep into people’s eyes won’t give you irrefutable insight into their personality. We’ve only looked at group effects, he says. “It’s not possible to describe an individual’s personality from our data.”
However, I've learned the best way to see a person's heart, through their mouth. Jesus taught His disciples that out of the mouth comes the OVERFLOW of the heart(Matthew 12:34, 15:18, Luke 6:45, John 8:44). Maybe that's why I've learned to be a good listener, you really can see what's important to person by what they talk about, ever notice how often people "say" "love"? "ILOVE" that movie, this food, that place, this stuff? Or I'd love to do this or that. It's AMAZING the stuff and things people(including Christians) want and love.
This is another lesson that came out of that two year fiasco that left me with a BUSTED HEART. I listened as a, "brother" in the faith repeatedly refused to sacrifice and serve, ironically this gave me the idea for my first book, "Crucified?" A true lady knows difference between lust and love. Lust is what we can get, what we want. Love is what we want to give, what we freely give away, no strings attached. We all CRAVE something. What are you craving? somebody to love? A Proverbs 31 lady knows that life is not about everything she wants.
You see the brother wanted and believed that Jesus died to give him the best in this world. This "brother" bought into THE LIE that the "abundant life" Christ gives us is in this world. While the Bible tells us that the only place believers will have no more pain and suffering is when we get to heaven( Isaiah 65:17,Revelations 22:3). This will be the new Eden, the new Shalom(peace). There will be no tears in heaven, now that will be the best. I can honestly say the first time in a long time that I'm content. Things may have not gone the way I had hoped and no I'm not happy. My dreams may not have come true and I may not have gotten the girl. But I've gotten closer to God and I've grown a lot wiser. Isn't this what the apostle Paul was talking about in his letter to the church at Philippi (Philippians 4:12-13, 19)?
Not that we have power to avoid hard times but a superhero that will help us get through the hard times, that's what gives me true joy. Christian rapper Lacrae recently tweeted, "Where there is no pain, suffering, or tragedy, there is no perseverance and no Hero's. THERE'S A REASON FOR EVERYTHING." Financial adviser Tim Hensel says, "Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy." Which is why I choose joy over being happy every time, even though it's hard. Perhaps this is why the apostle Paul was constantly reminding us to fight the good fight and finish the race(1 Timothy 1:18 ,6:12, 2 Timothy 4:7, 2 Timothy 3:10). He knew that the fight would be hard and we'd be tempted to give up the race. This I now, when the storms of life come, I'LL BE OK. It's looking into MY SAVIOR'S FACE that allows me to dance in the rain.
In her book Choose Joy, Kay Warren(wife of Rick Warren) explains, "Have you ever wondered why some people seem to experience deep and authentic joy in their daily lives-- even in the toughest times-- and others can't seem to find it no matter how hard they search? Many of us eventually give up the pursuit, assuming we were unfortunate enough to have been standing on the wrong side of the door when God was handing out joy. It is often seemed to me that only a few lucky people receive the gift of joy and that fewer still know Joy's 'secret.'... Joy is not about your circumstances or about how you feel. It is definitely not about living in denial and ignoring sorrow or pain. But I've discovered in my own life, joy is something much deeper, richer, more stable, and definitely more accessible than you might have thought." I'm not meant to run this race ON MY OWN.
Here is where the analogy comes to life, every runner/athlete knows that you don't get the prize until you finish the task. You only get things you need like water, electrolytes and medical attention if there's an emergency. And this is what God promises to give us to help us to be victorious and finish the race. We can't be complacent and give up, we have to to keep movin'. Right little fishie? We can't make our home here, since we don't belong HERRE. God is more concerned about the payoff of our lives for His glory, than He is about the size of our paycheck for our glory. John Piper puts it this way, "God is most glorified in us, we are most satisfied in Him." He is what helps us finish the race, He is what's best. Because nothing satisfies does it? King David said, "He is our portion, treasure (Psalm 119:57). Everything in this world is meaningless, I mean everything, even pleasure. At least that's what Solomon said (Ecclesiastes 1:1- 3:27). And that's what the world doesn't understand.
Last month I went for a bike ride and stopped to take a picture of some flowers when the battery in my camera died. As I pulled out my spare BATTERY, I remembered that I lost it while I was in Colorado a few years ago and spent hours frantically searching for it. I eventually gave up and ordered a cheap, generic one off of the Internet. The replacement worked well for a few months, but eventually it was worthless and I threw it away. Then last year while cleaning my car before a date, I found my original replacement battery stuck between the seatbelt mount and the center console.
I could almost hear God saying, "All this time you thought you had the best with the cheap battery and you were so happy. Do you really think that relationship you lost was my best for you?" Sherri Shepherd recently said on the The View, "Sometimes rejection is God's best form of protection." I wonder how many times we Christians settle for less than God's best by trying to get what we want, when we want it?
And why do we do it? We want to be happy, to feel good. We want THE GOOD LIFE. I'm sure some of you are thinking about the riches of Solomon and Jabez. But, remember when given a choice these men chose wisdom. They chose to reconnect to God and to expand His kingdom. God chose to "bless" these men with other things because they chose wisely in the first place. Listen to what C.S. Lewis had to say about prosperity, "Prosperity knits a man to the World. He feels that he is 'finding his place in it,' while really it is finding its place in him."
When the other son of David, Jesus arrived He teaches His disciples not to even worry about their basic needs(food, drink, clothing) and that's what the world is chasing after. But you, the bride, don't even chase after your needs. Because God will meet your needs if you put Him first (Matthew 6:31-33). This brings me back to the health, wealth and prosperity gospel. Churches that teach this doctrine claim God wants the church to have the best of this world: to prosper financially, have the best things, homes, cars and a plethora of other worldly items. And you can have it all, now. Keep praying and you'll make the big time, you can get that little red Corvette, it's all about the BENJAMINS. But God promises to bless and renew the strength of those who wait on Him, on His timing (Isaiah 40:31). Author Neal A. Maxwell writes, "Faith in God means faith in His timing." Just like the world we want God to SPEED THAT LIGHT, that blessing and we want it, now.
Still they teach whatever you want, just keep asking, knocking and God will give it to you. As if God were some genie in a bottle. That's a very DANGEROUS, distorted version of the gospel. It's a half truth, which makes it a whole lie. The truth is most of the gospel tells us not to love things of this world, but seek heavenly things. For 10 years I bought the lie myself as I pursued a modeling career in Atlanta and faced temptation after temptation to compromise my faith until my agent died three years ago and I was offered a gig in a film that bordered pornography and I decided that day I didn't want to LOOSE MY SOUL, like the three Hebrew boys I couldn't bow down to this world any longer(Daniel 3:16-30).
Likewise as Joshua I decided that as for me and my house, we will serv the Lord(Joshua 24:14- 16). Author Dudley Hall once wrote, "All of life is a trade. If you choose to follow God's will, you might miss out on some things, but what you gain will be much better." The apostle Paul said something similar to the church in Philippi(Philippians 3:7). Remember Jesus taught things like giving away and sacrifice instead of taking and wanting (Matthew 6:19-21, Luke 12:21-22, 33,39, 18:22) Mother Teresa once said, "Intense love does not measure, it just gives." The world sees sacrifice as losing; for the bride, it should be gain. Most of you remember the story about how God rescued Israel from slavery, what set Israel apart Egypt wasn't bigger houses. But the blood on the door posts. It was the sacrifice that covered Israel's doors that set them apart and saved from judgment.
Science teaches us the law of GRAVITY, what goes up must come down The gospel is clear we are not to love this world or the things in it (Romans 12:2 ,1 John 2:15, James 4:4). Remember, this world is passing away (Psalm 39:6, 1 John 2:17, 1 Corinthians 7:31,) yet Christians keep pushing for the best of it and try to stay on top of the world. We like it on the mountaintop, it's safe there, but it edges out God. Theologian and author Richard J. Foster writes, "The fruit of the Spirit is not push, drive, climb, grasp and trample...Life is more than a climb to the top of the heap." The pursuit of worldly things leaves us with the emotions like ENVY and pride, which are fruit of what? Again, Jesus walks a different tao.
Matthew tells the story where Satan took Jesus to the high places of this world attempted Him there(Matthew 4:1 -8) Jesus refused to stay on the mountaintop and later He told His disciples not too(Matthew 17:1 -7). He teaches that the ones who are really blessed are the poor and needy, the humble and meek(Matthew 5:1-4). He teaches that if we really want the first we must serve, sacrifice and become the last (Matthew 18:1-6.) Author Douglas Wilson reminds us, "The Christian faith is no way pacifistic. The peace that will be ushered in by our great Prince will be a peace purchased by the blood. As our Lord sacrificed Himself in this war, so must His followers learn to do."
Yet, I've never seen a last church of any town, I've have never seen a the least church on Main Street. And we take pride in it and say things like Jesus serves us, we forget there's nobody greater than our Lord. That's what got Satan kicked out of heaven isn't it (Isaiah 14:12-14, Ezekiel 28:12-18)? It seems that the bride has a HEART PROBLEM and has become more of a material girl than a lady and is ADDICTED to this world. Instead of being the light of the world and shining city on a hill, she's more interested in getting BRIGHT LIGHTS AND CITYSCAPES. Isn't this what a prophets Moses and Isaiah warned us about (Deuteronomy 8:1-18, Isaiah 5:20-230)? Haven't we exchanged evil(things of this world) for good? Martin Luther King once said, ""He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it." In the Army, we'd call this . Charles Spurgeon explains, "elf-sufficiency is Satan's net, wherein he catches men, like poor silly fish, and does destroy them."
The American dream has turned into the AMERICAN TRAGEDY. David Platt put it this way in his book Radical, "American churches have embraced values and ideas that are not only unbilical but contradict the gospel we claim to believe... You and I can choose to continue with business as usual in the Christian life and in the church as a whole, enjoying success based on the standards defined by the culture around us. Or we can take an honest look at the Jesus of the Bible and dare to ask what the consequences might be if we really believed Him and really obeyed Him."
Most American Christians aren't ashamed of the name of Jesus, just ashamed to they like me. We really don't want to follow Him, we really don't want to let go of our pleasures and treasures in this life. This false hope of getting more things in this life. If being popular and accepted is the opposite of how Jesus lived isn't it? You might say, "It's anti-Christ."'
Isn't this the spirit of the antichrist that the gospel warns us about when brother will betray brother and men will turn away from sound doctrine (the gospel) and listen to things that make them happy ( (Matthew 10:20-24, 1 Timothy 1:10, 2 Timothy 4:3, Jude 1:18 )? These "teachers" call it "blessing" others. How are you going to LIE TO ME and then say you are "blessing me"? Writer Nicholas Sparks warns, "You're going to come across people in your life who say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's their actions, not words, that matter."
The Bible has a lot to say about being people pleasers, rather than pleasing God (Proverbs 29:25-26, Isaiah 2: 22, Matthew 10:28, John 1:7, 12:43, Acts 5: 29, 2 Corinthians 7:1, Galatians 1:1, 6-10, 6:1-18, 1 Thessalonians 2:4). I know some of you think my blogs are too long. But I write of obedience to God, to communicate what He's teaching me. My character is more important to me than a reputation. So, I don't worry if they like me. I write to enlighten, not entertain. Besides, I'm not that smart, just a good listener. And here is part of the problem we have in the Christian film industry, we focus too much on entertaining and not enough on the enlightening. Entertaining can make you happy for a while. However enlightenment, can lighten your load, it can change your life, forever. I believe this is our calling as writers as we follow Jesus' lead (Matthew 11:28-30). We need teachers, leaders and parents who are mature and brave enough to tell us the whole truth.
There is an epidemic in America of parents who would rather be their children's best friends and make them happy than do as Solomon instructed and parent them (Proverbs 22:6). Listen to my heart, children only get one mother and one father, they'll have thousands of friends over their lifetime. I lost MY ONE AND ONLY mother or father years ago and I still have friends. We have mothers teaching little girls how to put on makeup to cover their imperfections and make them outwardly beautiful. They hide the beautiful you on the inside. Maybe this is where we get the idea of putting on a pokerface. They've forgotten that it's our mistakes and imperfections that make you who you are as long as we learn from it.
I can look back over my life and see a beautiful history of mistakes I've made and they have made me the man I am. Hopefully, the lessons that I learned will help me the next time I grow in love. After spending seven years involved with various men's ministry organizations, the best lesson I've learned is the key to a long lasting relationship is communicating with your friend/partner/spouse. I hate to disappoint you, but the best communication, the communication that lasts the longest isn't physical pleasure, but talking.
In his book Boy Meets Girl author and pastor Joshua Harris explains that the best thing we can do with our lips in a relationship is talk, not kiss. "Communication. It's not such a simple thing is it?... Communication is more than just speaking; it's listening. And it's more than just listening; it's understanding and properly responding to what we've heard."
Hybels continues in Honest To God, "We yearn for relationships where we can be completely honest, open, and vulnerable. Where we can share failures as well as successes, shortcomings as well as strengths....These intimate, authentic relationships are exactly what God has in mind for us. He created us for relationships, and wants us to experience them at their best....all of us long for deep, authentic relationships marked by integrity and open communication... I've heard many tales relationships marred by hidden hostilities and UNSPOKEN hurts.... I believe the biggest problem is that too often we violate the basic requirement of authentic relationships: honesty. Learning how to tell others the truth is the basis of genuine relationships."
Maybe this is why I am a dancer at heart, you can't hide anything on THE DANCE floor. Modern dance pioneer Ruth St. Denis once noted, "I see dance being used as communication between body and soul, to express what is too deep to find words for." There's something about a woman who knows how to move on the dance floor, she knows it's about LETTING GO. She knows about timing and most importantly she knows to open her eyes.
After nearly 10 years, I recently caught up with my favorite dancing partner from college and the chemistry, the memories, the friendship are still there. As fresh as a spring flower that blooms for the first time after a long cold winter. Even though we each have suffered, we've made our mistakes in our separate lives there's still a connection. "Red" you will always be my dancing Queen. Real dancers never stop dancing, we evolve, learn new steps and teach them to our partner. A dancer never leaves their partner on the dance floor. Choreographer W.M. Tory says, "The dance is over, the applause subsided, but the joy and feeling will stay with you forever."
And here is where most couples(especially young ones) make a big mistake. Instead of learning how to communicate with each other better verbally, couples try to REKINDLE THE ROMANCE by spicing up their sex life. And they never really learn how to talk and work through their differences, instead they try to bottle it up because their flesh is BURNING UP. what are words, feelings, if they aren't shared and expressed? The silence can be deafening in a relationship. Worse yet after the sex is over, they still feel disconnected and EMPTY, because they never really connected other than physically. perhaps this is why I hate being ignored. Maybe this is why we say, "Friends make the best lovers."
Rob Bell explains, "Some of the most sexual people I know are celibate. They sleep alone.. They've chosen to give themselves to lots of people, to serve and to give and connect their lives to beautiful worthy causes... You can be having sex with many and yet you're alone. And the more sex you have, the more alone you are. And it's possible to be sleeping alone, and celibate, and to be very sexual. Connected with many. It's also possible to be married to somebody and sharing the same bed and be very disconnected. It is possible to be married to somebody and sharing the same bed and even having sex regularly and still be profoundly disconnected. There's a saying in the recovery movement: 'You are only as sick as your secrets.' This is true for relationships as well. If there are secrets that haven't been shared, topics that haven't been discussed, things from the past are forbidden to be brought up, it can cripple a marriage. And so they're sleeping together, but the really sleeping alone." They are having sex, but they're not making love.
A lady knows the difference between sex and making love; sex starts in the bedroom when the lights go out and you close your eyes, it ends after the pleasure is over. Where making love starts with a smile before you ever get to a bedroom and it lasts a lifetime even after there's no more physical pleasure. While making love you KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN, because there's no shame and it's so good you don't want to miss a thing.
A Proverbs 31 lady is more concerned with being a Jesus Freak And that requires being honest, COMPLETELY. She's not worried about being a superfreak, we've all heard the stories about how "church" girls are the really wild ones. Being honest requires being vulnerable. Even when it may cause problems. Being honest in our relationships is tricky, because we don't want to push others away. Further, we become inauthentic in our physical sex lives, isn't that why we have terms like, "Faking it"? And we end up dancing around the truth, don't we? We're having sex, but we're not connecting, although it may LOOK LIKE LOVE, it's just lust. Getting something that doesn't satisfy.
Roxann Andersen cofounder of the marriage dance ministry says, "You long for a marriage that glides like a beautiful Waltz–that’s fun like a flirty Salsa–that’s breathtaking like a Quick Step. But instead of a dance, you wind up with a tug-of-war." Wouldn't the "Christian" thing to do be tell the truth "in love"? So if we're not telling the truth, are we in love? Most couples marry expecting FANTASY Island, but land on Gilligan's Island and they want to GETAWAY, so they divorce. But LOVE IS MAKING A WAY. Happiness creates a roller coaster of love. Joy is like a steady river, it steadies my heart.
So why are relationships so hard? Its supposed to be remember, it's part of the curse between the man and the woman. But there is hope, Solomon tells us to rejoice in the wife of our youth(Proverbs 5:18, Ecclesiastes 9:9), then he goes on to tell us about how meaningless and hard life is. Perhaps this is why he didn't tell us to be happy with our spouses, because when life gets hard, we wouldn't be able to rejoice, would we? Still it's hard, so we must make sacrifices, I will DIE IF I HAVE TO, I must give MY ALL and I know it will be worth it(Matthew 19:27, 29).
Hybels continues, "because it's human nature to prefer peacekeeping over truth telling. Most of us would do almost anything to avoid conflict... When people submerge their true feelings in order to preserve harmony, they undermine the integrity of a relationship they buy peace on the surface level, but underneath there are hurt feelings, troubling questions, and hidden hostilities just waiting to erupt. It's a costly price to pay for cheap peace, and it inevitably leads to inauthentic relationships.... God designed us to yearn for open, honest, authentic relationships---"communal" relationships. But because we choose peacekeeping over truth telling. We end up in "pseudo-communal" relationships instead. These are marriages, family relationships friendships that are strictly surface level. No one says anything "unsafe." They never discussed misunderstandings, reveal hurt feelings, air frustrations, asks difficult questions. The underlying rule in pseudocommunity is: Don't rock the boat. Don't disturb the peace. But it's a counterfeit peace.... The only antidote is chaos-- I call it the "tunnel of chaos, "where hurts are unburied, hostilities revealed, tough questions asked. No matter how unpleasant the time of chaos is, there is no other route to authentic relationships." It's like driving through a bad thunderstorm, if you slow down or stop, the storm lasts longer. But if you press on, there's hope on the other side. You might say there's light at the end of the tunnel. There's joy and no one can TAKE IT AWAY.
Truth may hurt temporarily, but healing lasts forever, it changes us, it can save us. Both the Gospel of John and Luke share a story about how Jesus handled the truth with a woman at a well who was so ashamed of her life that she draws water while everyone is eating lunch, so no one will see her. She's hiding (John 4:1-42, Luke 7:13-19). Jesus tells her, this water will make you happy for awhile. But I have water that will never run out. She says, "TAKE ME TO THE RIVER."
Then He pretty much tells her she's a slut and she needs to change her ways. She needs to walk a new tao. Within a few verses, she is now going to people and trying to bring them to Christ! She is no longer hiding or RUNNING is she? You might say, Jesus set her free, for good. She is no longer looking for love in ALL THE WRONG PLACES. She learned that when Jesus frees you from the shackles of this world, you don't pick them back up. She learned something my father taught me as a child, "the truth always comes out." And it's FOR MY GOOD.
TACOS?
In closing this blog, let's talk about one of my favorite things, food. Specifically tacos. I call this the T. A. C. O. principal: truth always comes out. Have you ever eaten a taco without something falling out? And it seems like the more you put in it, the more falls out. The best tacos are the ones with less, to keep from having a mess. That's how truth works. The more you try to cover it, the more it comes out and we make a mess. The gospel is clear there is nothing we can do to keep the truth from coming out(Ecclesiastes 3:17, 12:14, Matthew 10:26-28, Romans 2:16,1 Peter 4:17, 2 Thessalonians 1:8) Perhaps that's why I always feel like somebody's watching me? That's truth, especially for Christians. You see we forget Christians will be judged also, twice. I'm sure that will blow your high. Just like in a marriage or a relationship buried secrets and the truth can eventually explode like a timebomb.
First we are judged by our works, what we did or didn't do. Who we served or didn't serve (remember the Beatitudes). How about the parable of the talents? Remember how Jesus told His disciples to treat the "least" of these? Jesus' sacrifice covers our sin if we believe and follow Him. However, your works and deeds are PROOF OF YOUR LOVE. Mother Teresa once said, "Good works are links that form a chain of love." They have no ALIBI. Then there's a judgment of the sheep and goats.
Remember sheep follow the shepherd all the way to the slaughtering table and goats go their own way. You might say they worship at other ALTARS. Most Christians are familiar with Paul's declaration to the church in Rome that, "Through Christ we are more than conquerors." But, he goes on to quote the prophet Isaiah, "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." But the joy is He has overcome this world and is going to make a new one! Which leads me to wonder, "why would God go through all the trouble of giving us worldly things if He is going to just take it away one day? The slaughter we face is the DARKEST HOUR before the morning. I don't know about you, but I'm ready, TAKE ME THERE.
At the beginning of John's vision in Revelation, he explains that God sees His bride's good works. By the time we get to Revelation 17, John starts talking about another woman (Revelation 17:1-18) and she is getting drunk with the Kings of this world. Sound familiar? She is dressed in purple and red. She is adorned with jewelry and worldly things. The WANNABE Proverbs 31 woman has become a lady in red. Some theologians believe this harlot represents the Roman catholic church, some say she's the Jews. The overall consensus is she is a very outwardly religious people group, but inwardly there is no change.
By now most of you are probably wondering about grace. First off, grace is no more an excuse to sin than marriage is an excuse to lust. It is a free gift given by God to those who decide to follow Him. For those who don't, they' re hellbound. Mother Teresa said it best, "Jesus said,'I am the Truth', and it is your duty and mine to speak the truth, then it is up to the person who hears it whether to accept or reject it." Bill Purvis recently explained, "Hell isn't going to be full of people who God rejected, but of people who rejected God." We need liberty from sin, not liberty to sin. Maybe the bride should be a CITY ON OUR KNEES. Paul is clear in his letter to the church in Rome, grace isn't an entitlement to sin( Romans 6:1-2).
We all know the story of how France gave the statue of liberty to America, it was a gift. But it wasn't completely free. The statue was paid for by France, but the pedestal was financed and built by Americans. Now over 230 years later she stands as a symbol of freedom and strength which is fitting since we will celebrate Independence Day in three days. Most Americans, especially military families(whoa) understand that freedom isn't free, someone paid a price and Jesus paid the price for grace with His blood to set us free. Grace is a gift, but it has no power if it's not accepted. We honor His sacrifice by how we live.
Why would we want to go back to being slaves and making the same mistakes again? The beauty of grace is that it allows God to see those who choose to follow Him, His bride, as spotless. HOW HE LOVES us and He gives us a crown, or a HALO. He says YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, MY beloved and He doesn't see our mistakes, He forgives. Which, we must do as well. We must offer forgiveness to those who hurt us, I must offer forgiveness to those who hurt me if I am to be part of the true Bride. And our God is coming back for her, whether we're READY OR NOT.
John tells us in Revelation that there will be a huge wedding dance. True to form Jesus will break out and go AGAINST THE WORLD, whereas the bride is the focus of most weddings, this time the bridegroom will be the center of it all. Only then, will we live the BEAUTIFUL LIFE in a real big house and it will be wonderful as we dance and make a joyful noise to God. I don't know about you "red", but I'm ready to dance again and I'm still waiting for that viener schnitzel, mit einer schönen Dame(Lady)!
